Tuesday, 20 September 2011


So I went to the doctor today. I’ve been trying to find one who suits me. I went to this one nearby where I work. I knew she was going to be different when she announced to the waiting room very loudly, in a very Yankee voice, “Amarinda Zelda Jones” and then just stared at me because – I was, after all – the only one in the waiting room which made the name calling out thing kind of moot. Anyway, I sat down and started telling her what I wanted done etc. She kept saying “In the US we do this and that and the other thing.” Uh huh. I only just managed to refrain from pointing out she was in the very laid back, to the point of comatose tropics of Cairns and she needed to dial it down a notch. She continued on with the US stuff and kept telling me my prescriptions were wrong, I looked good for 47 and did I know most people at 47 are half dead in the US? Well no, I didn’t. Then she eyeballed me and said “Did you know there’s a lot of sexually transmitted disease in the tropics? What are you doing about it?” My response, “after this, I’ll probably never have sex again.” She said that ‘is the best contraception.” Riiight….

So, at this point I am thinking ‘you are a fucking space cadet lady and I need to get out of here.’ Then all of a sudden she changed tack and became quite funny, amusing, caring and knowledgeable. It was weird. Bizarre. It occurred to me she’s exactly the doctor I want. I want someone off the wall, mouthy and straight to the point. I’m going back next week to get a procedure done. At least she’ll be entertaining.