From Accidentally in Love...the I Hate My Job series...
To deflect attention from the fact he knew
nothing about building, Glen spent most of his days coming up with ideas like buying
cake every day to make people happy or trying to do ‘fun’ things like seeing
which of the men in the office could try and kick the ceiling. This latter idea
had ended up with one cracked tailbone, a hole in the wall the size of a man’s
foot, a lot of incident and insurance paperwork to fill out, and a huge bill to
repair the wall. Then there was the big ship’s bell that Glen insisted they buy
and screw on the wall near Amarette’s desk. The reason behind the bell? It was
so it could be rung whenever anyone felt like they needed excitement. Seriously.
It was an office. Not Disneyland. The other
employees got that. Glen didn’t. Everyone avoided the bell.
As the office manager, the bell drove Amarette
mad. No one but Glen rang it. And, if he wasn’t making noise, he was demanding pizza
be ordered for the whole thirty staff members, but only if it cost no more than
fifteen dollars. “We’re on a strict budget you know, Amarette.” She knew that.
She doubted he understood what budget meant. His fine Italian wool suits and
expensive leather shoes were completely wrong for a tropical, humid climate
like Cairns.
Not that she cared if he sweated away to nothing. At least it would stop his
grating need to over analyze everyone in the office. As far as Glen was
concerned, everyone was found to be wanting and he told them so. Some said this
was what sparked the ‘I hate Glen Glenwood’ page on Facebook. Amarette couldn’t say. She suspected they weren’t the
only office who’d been ‘Glenwooded’ as there were over two-thousand likes in Facebook.
“I take it you don’t like birthday cake, Amarette?”
They had just had an intensely tedious
discussion about the office bills, none of which Glen seemed to understand and
she had been on the verge of suggesting she bring in sock puppets to maybe
explain the situation of debt, and subsequent loss of utilities if he refused
to make a decision and sign off on bills. He avoided signing anything unless
there was no other choice. Like when the lights went out or the telephone was
disconnected. In essence he was a coward who was scared to be responsible for
anything. “What?”
“I notice you’ll phone up and order one in but
you won’t leave the office to buy it.”
She piled all the unsigned bills together and
held them tightly against her breasts. It was that or throw them at him. “What’s the difference?”
“Well, Amarette, leaving the office and finding
the cake is important. It shows the birthday person you care. Ordering it sent
in indicates cake means nothing to you.”
“Uh-huh.” What
a total fuckwit. It was the whole Nero fiddling while Rome burnt thing. A discussion on cake when
the construction business, a small off shoot of a large corporate giant, was
slowly dying off. That he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, see that was scary. Not to
Amarette. She was looking for another job, but others in the office wanted to
believe they were secure. She knew there was no such thing. At thirty-five she
had walked away from several workplaces that were on the verge of financial
ruin due to their own ineptitude.
.....And then all sorts of stuff happens....
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