Saturday...

…nothing much to tell you other than I got a couple of book contacts so that was good. Other than that, life is same old, same old…cleaning, washing, writing….

Have a good Saturday.

www.amarindajones.com
Go Ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Friday Rant...

‘I understand’…to me this is the most patronizing statement I have ever heard. How can someone who does not know you and has no idea how you really think ‘understand’? I read it in an email the other day and I just thought ‘what are you talking about? Have you read anything I have said to you? What is there to understand?’ The whole tone of the email made me think ‘you patronizing sod.’ I refrained from commenting as I dearly wanted to as I knew the person would have no idea of what I was saying or meaning let alone hope they actually read my email so it would have been a waste of energy. Yeah, I am pissed with all those ‘understanding’ types out there.

Here’s what I believe – take it or leave it – while we all share air space no one can tell another that they ‘understand’ what they are going through – or - in some cases you’re going through nothing more but everyday life. Is it a need for this ‘understanding’ people to feel superior? Or I believe it’s more likely that person is projecting their fears on you. If so, bugger off. Deal with your life and I’ll deal with mine. ‘I understand’ is just as annoying as ‘I know.’ What do you 'know?' How I feel or how the person next to me feels or someone living in Upper Kumbucka West feels? Really? You may have had similar experiences or feelings but knowing and understanding are private things that concerns the individual. I would much prefer people say ‘I can only imagine how you feel’ because this is the best any human can do, unless we are psychic.

And for god sake read an email before you answer….

My suggestion – unless you are indeed a mind reader then don’t patronize another with what you ‘think’ you ‘know’ of how another is feeling because you don’t and you and you’ll be wrong.

Rant over….oh wait…late news…

http://www.skynews.com.au/news/article.aspx?id=298929

I believe people who deliberately start fires need to be shot. No really, if you get a thrill out of seeing people fighting for their lives or trying to save their homes then we don’t need you on the planet…leave now. Okay…rant officially over now.

www.amarindajones.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Have people completely lost the plot?

The first thing I heard on the radio this morning were the announcers speculating over a swimmer’s sexuality. I have to say – who gives a rat’s arse? There are so many crap things happening in the world right now that this is only important to the individual concerned. Gay? Not gay? I don’t care. It’s nothing to do with me. And yes, times are tough at the moment and people gossip – I have and will – and yes it can break the tension but for god sake how is this of any interest and why treat another, who everyone idolized during his career, so disrespectfully?

MELBOURNE (Reuters) - A four-year-old Australian girl died on Thursday after she was thrown off a bridge in Melbourne and landed in the Yarra River, 58 metres (174 feet) below, police said. A man stopped his 4WD car on the West Gate Bridge during peak hour, stepped out of the car carrying the girl and dropped her over the edge, a police spokesman told local media.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/world/5289318/australian-4yearold-girl-thrown-from-bridge/

OH. MY. GOD. To me there is no reason that can justify this behaviour. This man should be shot. That is the only rational and reasonable response.

In the utter stupidity department….

A pregnant woman who was forced to expose her swollen stomach to a liquor store full of customers has prompted a consumer lobby group to call for a ban on strip searches in Queensland shops.

A 40-year old Ipswich woman, who was eight-and-a-half months' pregnant, was forced to lift her shirt after being wrongly accused of shoplifting at the Springfield Lakes 1st Choice Liquor store on Monday.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/newshome/5288290

I would have had them call the police and arrest me…that was after I bunged on the biggest turn and told them what absolute dickheads they were as I was dialing the local news channel. So what…are they going to ask anyone that could be overweight to show their stomach? Big butt? “What are you hiding there fella?” Erection? “Is that a bottle of scotch in your pants or are you just glad to see me?” Clearly the staff is imbibing some of the stock.

At work…we’re all tightening belts. We had the big talk. Jobs are being cut, positions made vacant and everyone may have to start taking on different work to what they are used to. Do you know what the biggest gripe is? “If I have to move desk do I have to sit next to X?” Um, gee – you still have a job so a big old dose of shut-up-and-deal would work for you right now. My theory? Someone pisses you off in the office – tell them and move on. I have found it works wonders.

And, let me point out this is just a infinitesimal amount of some of the stupid things that are happening in the world at the moment. So, my suggestion is we all take a big, deep breath, slap ourselves around the face once or twice and then act or speak. How much less harm would we do?

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

The perfect man....

So, we were talking at work about what essential characteristics make up the perfect man and does the perfect man exist? And - as an author am I perpetuating a stereotype and therefore making woman want something they cannot have? My response is women aren’t that stupid and romance books equal fantasy and women are too smart to believe it’s anything but. The perfect man does not exist. It’s as simple as that. We can wish on a star for him to appear but that last time I checked, the world doesn’t work that way. Though, if the star wishing thing has changed then let me know.

Yes, yes. I can rabbit on about George Clooney and Hugh Jackman but they have flaws. I’m sure of it. George probably snores and Hugh most likely belches the alphabet after eating. I’m not sure of course but all men seem to have a fascination for belching…why is that? Anyway, my point is neither man is perfect. Sure they’re drop dead gorgeous to look at but like everyone, what’s under the surface is more important.

The same with romance novels, Anyone But You sold very well but the main response from readers was that Mercardo - the hero - started out as a playboy jerk and it was only through being with Verity that made him a better man. Women saw that. A pretty face and a hot body only turns your head for a moment - after that, women want more and they are prepared to work around the flaws to get it. I was glad readers were astute enough to see what a dipstick Mercardo was and could have continued to be without the influence of a strong woman.

So no, I’m not perpetuating the ‘perfect man’ myth because every man I write about is flawed and if you like the heroine de-flaws him. No different to real life. Women civilize men. It impossible for any man to be perfect and those who wait for Mr Right are going to be waiting a bloody long time. Better I think to go with Mr-very-close-to –being-right. You can work on him then. Think of it as a project. It can be fun. And no, that’s no 1950’s housewife ideal. That’s fact. Women want men but on their terms and they’re prepared to work until they get what they want. Why settle for less?

As for the existence of the perfect man – no – he’s like Yeti – occasionally glimpsed but basically just some guy dressing up in a hairy suit – probably belching and scratching his arse.

Men – fascinating creatures.

So are woman perfect? Yes. And no, I don’t have to justify it – we just are.

Okay – that’s it for today – I have 250 business cards to attached to the most luscious smelling organic candles…yes, it’s all happening at Chez Amarinda.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Remember when we used to talk?

I have my Editor’s mobile (cell phone) number. It’s for when we arrive at the Australian Romance Readers Convention in February 20th. I have never met the lady but I know she is classy and confident and hates split infinitives. My plan is to stand in the lobby of the hotel and rattle off a string of “to boldly go where no woman had gone before” type phrases and wait until I hear someone suck in her breath in anguish. If that fails, I’ll ring her and pin down her whereabouts. I don’t send text messages anymore as I find it a complete and utter waste of money and it’s not respectful. How? Well, if you cannot be bothered to actually dial a number and speak, then why bother communicating at all? To me sending half arsed “R u @ bar? C u in 10.” - messages are just rude. Dial the bloody phone – speak – do something personal. A bunch of undecipherable symbols on a screen is not communication to me. And don’t get me started on ‘lol’ which every boy and his dog uses now – even if something is not funny – it’s so overused it’s ridiculous. If it’s funny say so. If it’s not - don’t say it is to fit in with everyone else or because you are too scared to speak the truth.

When did we stop speaking with our voices? Has technology made us slack? Email – I don’t have a problem with as it’s a business tool. People actually use proper words when they email. It’s a discussion – though of late I have noticed more and more that people don’t bother to read emails – they scan them and then just email back exactly what you’ve said as their own idea – hmmm… I had that yesterday. I’m now calling them out on that. I do have other things to do than email people who don’t bother reading my emails. You don’t want to read them? Then don’t. And don’t give me that tired excuse that ‘you’re busy’. Yes – we’re all busy – you’re not Robinson Crusoe there, sunshine.

Do you remember that Seinfeld episode, years ago, when Jerry was annoyed that he had to speak to an actual personal rather than their answering machine? Is that how we are? Do you think Obama’s speeches would be as powerful if he put them on text? Are we scared to talk to people? Worried that what we say is crap and they’ll call us on it? Or are we heading away from communicating with our voices because we’re lazy?

Years ago, I was in this supermarket and this mother said to her kid – he had to be 5 or 6 – “are you listening to me?” And the kid said “I don’t have my listening ears on.” I would rather this honesty than nodding and pretending to listen. As far as we have come as humans and as amazing as technology is – we just can’t seem to mesh the two of them together very well. That we can hear and speak is a gift that come others do not have. We should not forget that.

Wall Street bastards….

I got my Superannuation (410K) statement today…stagger…gasp…I would just like to “communicate” my displeasure and add that if any of these greedy bastards who screwed over the world’s economies comes into my sights I will kick their bums until their noses bleed….

www.amarindajones.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Happy Australia Day....

January 26th 1788 - a bunch of poms (British people) landed at Sydney Cove. It was the First Fleet – the first wave of British law enforcement transporting a mob of ne’re do-well convicts to Australian shores to serve out sentences due to their criminal actions. Some were bad buggers who had got caught doing the wrong thing. Others were victims of a system that just wanted to de-populate an already crowed country and since the US closed its gates to the transportation of convicts, the British government had to look further a field.

Some of my ancestors came willingly. They wanted a new and better life. Others came in chains while some came with stories that didn’t make sense and to this day we still wonder about – she did what? How? And with a baby? Who was the father? Huh? What sea captain? A Spy? What the? However they arrived, or for what reason, I’m just glad they did.

Maybe it was a strange way to found a country but I think we’re better for it – maybe it’s our distance from other countries that sets a part as being unique, plain spoken and irreverent – not to mention good looking, charming and modest. Maybe it’s our convict heritage. Maybe we like who we are and we don’t give a rat’s arse what others think – I’m not sure. But I am bloody glad my ancestors left Blighty (Britain) – either in chains or of their own accord – because Australia is the best country in the word. Yeah, I’ve travelled the world and I have seen stuff but the sky is more blue, the sun more dazzling and the stars more sparkling down under. I would never live anywhere else.

From the land that brought you Hugh Jackman and chateau cardboard…Happy Australia Day.

This is a fun song and yeah the clip is ancient but it’s still a bloody good – click here.

I love Australia. There is no place like home.

http://www.australiaday.org.au/experience/
http://www.australiaday.org.au/whatson/qld/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia_Day

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

How does one make a chicken?

So I was heading out west, singing along to Pink’s Funhouse – I love her songs – they’re real piss-off-then-I’ll-get-by-without-you songs – and I saw this sign saying “Homemade chicken.” I was most intrigued. I would have stopped and asked about this phenomena but I was on a deadline. Once I pass the Wulkuraka (Wool-car-rack-a) sign this city girl does not get out of the car as you never know when a feral cow or rampaging pissed off roo or drop bear will attack you. The country – it’s so raw and out there and icky bordering on ooky. By the way – I love the name Wulkuraka – if I had a child I’d probably name it Wulkuraka Jones…anyway, I digress…so I shot past the sign, in Ida the wonder car, I pondered the question - how does one make a chicken? Homemade jam and cakes I understand but chicken? I find the idea of it kind of scary. Chicken is chicken. It’s pretty much an original design patented by the cosmos. To make you own chicken would be a gutsy move. What do you make it out of? Chicken? Or some other meat you flavour with chicken seasoning? Maybe you then sculpt pseudo chicken flesh on a wire frame like a Frankenstein’s monster thing….most confusing – and yes, next time I will stop and sus out the ‘homemade chicken.’

On the way home nothing exciting happened – though I did make a sacred vow never to be a biker chick as those women are either amazingly fearless doing the pillion passenger thing or completely out of their minds because at 100 clicks per hour there is no bloody way I would be relying on some bloke in front of me not to fall off the bike cause he’s the only thing you’re holding on to.

Hmmm…

It is "the arrogance of someone who believes they are right, in signing a decree which will open the door to abortion and thus to the destruction of human life," Archbishop Rino Fisichella was quoted as saying by the Corriere della Sera daily.

http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/world/5280052/vatican-slams-obama-abortion-ruling/

Now I personally don’t care if you worship Glinda the good witch – go for it - but do not tell other people what they can and cannot do – be it abortion, stem cell research or what the colour of underwear should be. It’s no one’s business but the person it concerns. I do wonder what these men in frocks in the Vatican know about real life issues – and yet they are more than happy to try and enforce their will on others. Can you theorize about life and be an expert on it without actually living it at a ground level? I would like to make a suggestion to The Vatican – after visiting Rome and seeing the street urchins and the poverty and comparing it to the riches of the Vatican – that maybe they would consider hocking a few golden goblets and plates and fix some of the problems literally on their own door step first before sticking their nose in elsewhere. Just a thought…

Click here to hear an iconic Aussie song and click here for the commercial urging Aussie’s to get off their arses and celebrate Australia Day tomorrow – though, to be honest, we need little urging – and if you don’t want to click than I respect your right to be click free.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Friday Freaks....

I am out west this weekend….back Sunday….have a good couple of days.

Australian Day is Monday 26th January. It’s an important day for us. We’re a fantastic, proud people of amazing country. This is song – click here - is one of our faves. I dedicate it to all Aussies peacmaking and peace keeping all over the world.

A Tantalizing Tilly moment….

(Freak of nature = supernatural being who eats human flesh.)

When the steak knife flew past her head and embedded in the door frame Tilly ducked and dived. She dropped to the linoleum and crawled on her hands and knees. It was not a usual occurrence for a blade to fly at her head in her own kitchen. Sure, some freaky-assed spirits had invaded her house in the past but they had not used her own cutlery against her. She peered around the corner of her kitchen bench to see who her assailant. Fucking Jeri. The freak aimed another knife at her head. Tilly scuttled back for cover and did a mental count of how many steak knifes she had—four—so unless Jeri started flinging forks there were only two more to go.
“What do you want Jeri?” Another knife skittered off course, hitting the fridge and taking fridge magnets with it.
“I want you dead.”
Ask a stupid question.
Tilly stood up quickly and shot back down equally as fast as the last knife flew toward her.
“Damn,” Jeri cursed angrily as she missed her mark.
Tilly stood and reached for the condiments basket on the bench. There was salt in one of them. It would not kill her but it would be enough to slow her down until she got get the rock salt and lime mixture from the garage to do the job properly. Tilly threw a shaker at the wall above Jeri’s head. Pepper rained down making the freak sneeze violently.
“Oh bugger.” Tilly always got the salt and pepper shakers mixed up.
Jeri swore and advanced toward her. There was blood lust in her eyes and pepper up her nose.
“I am going to kill you.” She sneezed rapidly in succession as the pepper continued to irritate her.
Where the fuck was the salt? Tilly lobbed the oregano at her. What the hell was oregano doing mixed up in there? You are so a lousy housekeeper.
“What? Not going to try to eat me first? You seem to be lacking in ambition Jeri.”
“Bitch!” Jeri shrieked furiously as she dodged the oregano and ran at her enemy.
Tilly scooped up last handful of condiment containers into her shirt and ran around the counter to get away from her. She was no coward but she was not about to take on an enraged flesh eater without some defense. Tilly pinged a loaded container of cinnamon which bounced off Jeri’s head.
“Stand and fight!” Jeri roared as she raced after her.
“Oh fuck off, you’ll kill me.” Tilly wasn’t that silly. She chucked the half empty bottle of Tabasco sauce at her.
Jeri caught it and threw it back at her. It smashed and splattered against the wall.
“Coward!”
“Whatever,” Tilly replied as onion flakes hurtled from her hand and smacked Jeri in the mouth. Score! At the time of purchase she had wondered when she would use such a big bottle of onion flakes but now she was pleased she made the right choice. Tilly made a mental note to keep quick lime in the house in future. And label the frigging salt.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Lessons....

Indeed…foresight saves you a lot of angst and hindsight sucks. I am re-arming myself

Have a good day

www.amarindajones.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

So that was Wednesday…

So I had lump cut out of my head today. Yes, correct, I also believe it’s because I have too many brains and they had to decrease the pressure on my skull so all my amazing wisdom did not come out. I think it’s pretty obvious - though I believe I caught the doctor doing the eye roll thing when I said this. Doctors? What do they know? They’re all too serious. Anyway, I have a nice little bald patch in the middle of my skull where the stitches are. Lovely.

While I was there at the Doc’s, as he was cutting away, I got to read a poster about nail fungal infections – and yes there were pictures. They were pukeable but it did take my mind off things. I think they have those posters for that reason, so you can see them and think ‘bloody hell – why is that so green and yukky looking? And on my God!!!! Is that a toe or something a wolf mauled?’ Look after your nails people. I do not want to see you on that poster.


Short story…

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch.

But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day.

The End
********************
That’s it….back tomorrow…behave or have a good alibi

http://www.amarindajones.com/
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Sunshine and lollipops...

I dreamed of Hugh Jackman last night….not sure why…I’m pretty damn certain he was not dreaming of me….anyway, what has that to do with sunshine and lollipops? Well, it you like, sunshine and lollipops convey happy, nice things. Hugh Jackman could, if you like, be equated to a lollipop…

What am I rambling about? I will tell you…I am intrigued and admittedly a bit worried – and I never normally worry because angst is bad for your skin – about this rush of belief that the new US president will save the world. First up – I believe any change of government in any country is a good thing. It stimulates thinking and people do become interested in the important issues. That’s a good thing. In Oz when working class-boy-made-good Kevin took the top job I was pleased for I am a Socialist at heart – no, I’m not a Communist – too much sharing - though as a young man my father would attend their meetings for the free food – but then I used to attend an after school church program on the corner from our house for the free orange cordial and biscuits(cookies). That’s only smart. But I digress….I find this huge popstar worship of one man is frightening. Yes, I admire Obama. I do. He has overcome much but how can any one man solve the bloody huge mess the US economy is in, the war in Iraq/Afghanistan and everywhere else and the social condition of Americans on a whole while keeping people happy? While I believe being positive is 90% of life ( the other 10% is rat cunning), believing the man will deliver sunshine and lollipops and good times and puppy dogs is asking too much in my belief. No one person can do that. It will take years to sort stuff out. People will still lose jobs, die in stupid wars and businesses will go broke. Will the good will and hype and popstar devotion still remain when the puppy dog, sunshiny beliefs are tested? Hell of a job to take on Obama…good luck with that. I’ll support you but I don’t think the sun shines out of you for you are just one man. If you falter I hope people remember you are human.

So back to Hugh…while being attracted to happy, nice – and his case down right sexy things – they’re not always real – they’re an ideal. While it’s nice to dream – I believe it’s better to be realistic and know that no one can be or promise sunshine or lollipops or make dreams can true.

Yeah, you can email me if you want amarinda_jones@yahoo.com.au

www.amarindajones.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

So I wrote this story about a month ago and it got rejected. In my heart, and I do have one somewhere in a box I think that’s in the spare room, I knew it would be. Why? Because the villain in it is really quite horrible. He does not have one redeeming feature, he is ghastly to look at and he does terrible things to the heroine. Yes, quite right –it’s horror/ménage - and completely different to my other books. So when my editor rejected it I wasn’t surprised. It wasn’t right for them. Was I upset? No. I think rejection is a good thing for a writer. Why? Because to be on auto accept – and I have been with other publishers - is a bad thing. How come? Because you never know if they are desperate for writers and will take any old crap. But then I have never gone into this business expecting to be accepted every time. That’s crazy and I admire someone more for saying ‘no’ rather than saying ‘yes’ simply to please me. Unless it involves chocolate of course…

Yes, it is erotic romance story but romance at a cost and a “would you want this to happen to you book?” And no, it’s not a pretty, fluffy book. The villain is a character from my own life who haunts me. I thought I’d write him, maybe to face him down…who knows…in the book he is just as horrible as he is in real life. Why would anyone want to read that? Again, who knows? We all have demons and maybe reading those of others makes us feel better. The thing is a publisher will pick it up one day. I can wait until then.

So – why is rejection good for you? While it’s always good to be positive, every so often you need to be reminded not everyone thinks you or your words are so great. How is this good? I think it makes you more determined to succeed. It also makes you assess what you are doing, should you be doing it, where you want to go and the possibility you may just need to do better. I still love me – but every so often I need to be forced in another direction for my own good. I don’t see rejection as a negative. If it was we would never leave the house, take a chance on love or write a book. Rejection – use it – it’s golden.

And the contest winners….

First prize goes to – Ray - and 2nd prizes to Charisse and Gaynor . Thank you everyone for entering the comp. As always it’s good to see how many people love to read.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Okay...

….Sunday…not much happening…’sent another book off to torture my editor with. I am the queen of typos and purveyor of split infinitives and she gets a headache from banging her head on the desk as she reads. But it’s gone. I can do no more – win, lose, draw. Other news…got word back on two Ellora’s Cave contracts going through – Shiver Me – a pirate story and Running the Gantlet – the next chapter in the vampire series…okay, it’s a series but it’s not…I’m not that methodical. And yes Mr Black, I expect the covers, when they come, will have men with no visible chest hair…and no, I like chest hair on a man….

Remember to get your entries in for our contest. What contest? Scroll down to the next blog entry and take a gander. Go on – enter – what the hell – you may just win. One of those two books in the contest is called Linked by Barbara Huffert. What’s it about? Check it out….

Linked – the excerpt….

“Why did you come here tonight?”
“I told you on the phone. I was sleeping and then I wasn’t. I woke up and couldn’t shake the feeling that you were scared. Did you have another nightmare? Is that why you turned on all the lights?”
“Yes.”
“Want to talk about it?” She shivered. “You don’t have to, Tori. I’m sorry. I don’t want to upset you.”
“What?”
“You started trembling when I asked if you wanted to talk about it.”
“Oh.” Tori blushed and fought the urge to hide her face in his shoulder. “It’s not that. I’m just a little cold. Or the part of me that’s not against you is. The rest is nice and warm.”
Guy hid a grin. “Yeah, now that you said that it does feel chilly in here. Maybe I should check your furnace.”
“No. I turn the heat down when I go to bed because I like lots of covers. You called before I turned it up and then I got sidetracked.”
Guy was rubbing his hands over her exposed skin. “And your nightwear isn’t designed for warmth although I must say how much I like it.”
Tori glanced down at her shorts and tank top and realized how well-defined her stiffened nipples were in the flimsy cotton of the tight pink shirt.
“Oh God,” she groaned.
“Christ, could I have said anything more inappropriate? Hey, at least I haven’t lost my mind entirely or I’d be touching them instead of just wishing I were.”
At his declaration, Tori felt the peaks tighten even more. She watched his glance drop and knew he’d seen the change. When his gaze returned to hers, she saw that his eyes had darkened. Wordlessly, she caught one of his hands and drew it to her breast, pressing herself against his palm. For a long moment, he cupped her.
“Guy.” Tori made his name sound like a plea.
With a sigh, Guy slid his hand to her shoulder and rested his forehead against hers. “You could tempt a dead man.”
“But not you, huh?”
“Oh, I’m plenty tempted. If you don’t believe me, shift your hip and you’ll be able to feel just how tempted I am. As much as I hate to do it, I’m going to beg you to go put on a robe or some sweats or anything less revealing, not that it’ll do much good now that I’ve seen you like this.”
“But—”
“No, Tori, don’t. I know it would be pure heaven, spending the next month exploring your body, after which we’d spend the following year making love in every way imaginable but that’s not something we can start tonight.”
“Not even if I tell you I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone?”
“Oh Christ.” Guy ran his thumb along her collarbone. “Don’t do this, Tori, please. I’m trying to be decent and not take advantage of the situation. You say you want me now but what about tomorrow? You’re the one who questioned my attraction to you, remember? I won’t do something that you may regret later. You’re too important for me to chance that.”
Tori studied his eyes and saw more emotions than she expected. “All right, Guy. You wouldn’t be taking advantage but okay. I won’t beg you to show me if those big strong hands of yours feel as good as I think they will.”
“Tori.”
“Just trying to make you feel better by not being the only one who says inappropriate things.”
“Thanks, I think.” Guy stood her on her feet. “Go put on more clothes and stop looking so damn desirable.”
“You’ll be here?”
“Until you tell me to leave.”

That’s it – enjoy Sunday….

RIP – never forgotten – ever.

www.amarindajones.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Sex? One orgasm or two?

I have to ask you what normal person sits and writes sex? Answer? Well normal people don’t. Normal people don’t think up strange places to have sex, how to do it, who and what to do it with and how fast or maybe slow to make it happen and will that be one or two or three orgasms for the heroine? And this is all on paper. It’s not real yet we spend hours writing and perfecting it. We agonize, we ask technical questions or we send snippets to writer friends to see it they believe what we have written is possible – “can his foot go there? Will she black out if she hangs upside down too long? If I described his penis like this how big do you reckon that is in your mind? No, of course size does not matter but this is fantasy after all – or am I being too fantastical? Would you scream if a man did that to you?” And then there are writers who check out positions on the internet or put Barbie dolls into strange positions with Ken to ascertain where body parts would go. “Sheer madness” - you say…. “get a life” - you yell…and yet this is part of our lives.

It’s not normal to agonize this much over sex when sex in itself is just not that difficult to actually do. And what happens when an erotic romance writer has sex? Is she thinking, “Ooh, this would be perfect for page 23 – can I stop and take notes?” or “Hmmm…I really must leave my latest release with him to read so he can get a clue” or “can I ask you a question while you’re doing that? What do you feel at this moment? Surging? Thrusting? Pumping?” Or “Will you indeed love me forever after this?” Or “If you were a wolf who changed into a man on a full moon, would you be inclined to bite a woman and if so where?”

Dead set – I say erotic romance writers are strange. No really – they’re quite troppo. And yes, I have spent a period of the day writing sex. Does it make me interested in actually have sex after wiring about it? Oh hell no.

** Troppo – adjective:- crazy or insane. Not necessarily a mental disorder. A description of the way people can go crazy in the tropics

**Dead set - adjective:- used to indicate that something is correct. Also can be used to question the truth of a previous statement.

http://www.aussieslang.com/Search/qsearch.asp

Off sex – and onto the contest….whoa! We’ve had a bucket load of entries. Thanks everyone. But it’s a random draw carried out by myself and Barbara – no one is more random than us so there is still stacks of time to get your entry in….

‘Want a chance to win a copy of two brand new e-books releases from Ellora’s Cave? Of course you do.

Tantalizing Tilly by Amarinda Jones and Linked by Barbara Huffert are out now. To be in the running to be a winner just answer these two simple questions:-

1. Where does Tori see the killers?

2. What creatures is Tilly fighting off?

The answers are in the blurbs. Click on the link below for the blurbs. Simple. The first correct entry drawn at random will win both copies. The second and third entries drawn win one book each. Send your two answers to either amarinda_jones@yahoo.com.au or bhuffert@gmail.com. Contest closes midnight (EST USA) Sunday 19th January. Good luck.

http://www.jasminejade.com/ps-6858-50-linked.aspx

http://www.jasminejade.com/ps-6845-50-tantalizing-tilly.aspx

www.amarindajones.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Of Tilly and Tuttles….

‘Want a chance to win a copy of two brand new e-books releases from Ellora’s Cave? Of course you do.

Linked by Barbara Huffert and Tantalizing Tilly by Amarinda Jones are out now. To be in the running to be a winner just answer these two simple questions:-

1. Where does Tori see the killers?

2. What creatures is Tilly fighting off?

The answers are in the blurbs. Click on the two covers for the blurbs. Simple. The first correct entry drawn at random will win both copies. The second and third entries drawn win one book each. Send your two answers to either amarinda_jones@yahoo.com.au or bhuffert@gmail.com. Contest closes midnight (EST USA) Sunday 19th January. Good luck.

I have a confession….

…yes, a lot of you already know…I am not a natural red head…oh wait…that’s not my confession…it’s about the author Twanna LaFawn. If you voted for Twanna in the recent poll – thank you. I appreciate it. For those who emailed me and asked was I Twanna? Nope, I’m not. For those who said ‘Is Twanna a made up person? Yes, she is or was. Why did I do it? Well, it was by way of an experiment. I nominated Twanna and her book Lingering Longing Lust – yes pukeable title - because I wanted to see how these ‘vote for me’ contests worked. I think its great and validating when a reader or reviewer nominates you – but when you nom yourself and then badger the crap out of people to vote for you – what’s that about? And why should people vote for you if they have never read the book? Don’t you want people to vote who appreciate your words? Not because they were sick to death of hearing from you in daily emails reminding you to vote.

Anyway, so I nom’ed Twanna. It wasn’t hard. I plonked in a made up website and I said she self-published. No official person checked to see if she was real or not. I could have nominated Teddy the Wonder Lizard…maybe next year. Then, I placed the odd note here or there – not a lot – asking people to vote for Twanna. I even indicated she was invisible. Anyway people voted for her. Do I feel bad about it? No because we have choices in life to do things – voting for someone you have never heard of included. What did I get out of it? It interests me the way people think and act. I like to study that. It also interests me to see what lengths someone can go to – if they choose – to win a contest and get whatever the prize is. And yes, Twanna did well – she did not win but that was never the intention.

From MASH – remember this….classic…

Hawkeye- There is no Tuttle
Clayton- No Tuttle
Blake- No Tuttle
Hawkeye- Not anymore sir (he holds up dogtags) that's all that's left
Blake- How did it happen?
Hawkeye- Well you know Tuttle, no sacrifice too great. This morning while the rest of us were selfishly having a cup of coffee he went off in a helicopter to do some field surgery. He jumped with his plasma, his bag, everything an army doctor needs except his parachute
Houlihan- Oh, how awful
Clayton- I'll see that he gets a personal citation for this
Blake- I think all of us that knew and loved Tuttle would like to pay tribute to this heroic man and I think it's only fitting that the man who knew him best, Captain Pierce deliver the eulogy
Burns- (To Houlihan) That's not true, I knew him best
Houlihan- Shh
Hawkeye- We can all be comforted by the thought that he's not really gone, there's a little Tuttle left in all of us, in fact you might say that all of us together made up Tuttle

http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/mash/season1/mash-115.htm

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

In the Aussie news...

A NEWLY appointed Australian Navy submarine commander is in hot water for suggesting that women sailors wearing bikinis might help to boost recruitment.

Commander Tom Phillips, appointed to the helm of Collins class submarine HMAS Farncomb last year, also said the submarine equivalent of the "mile-high club" is the "going down club".

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,24914958-5000540,00.html

Of course, this is bloody stupid and it begs the question - if female sailors dress to attract male recruits, what do the male sailors do to attract women to enlist in the Navy? Is being in the defence forces all about just tits and arse titillation? Of course not. I find it not only offensive to women in general but also to the members of the defence forces as it suggests they join under the influence of sex. Once again - as far as we have come as women, there is always some nitwit man trying to hold us back.

Eva Cox, chair of the Womens Lobby Australia, said the article reflected "the Navy's limited view of women as bodies rather than brains".

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,24914958-5000540,00.html

And although this officer was reported to have said it in jest, isn't there always some truth behind a joke?

Next…

Brisbane radio presenter Michael Smith angered listeners after calling for Muslim women who wear a hijab to be fined.
The 4BC drive presenter, a former Victorian policeman, said on Wednesday that wearing the

hijab or burka posed a security risk because it obscured the face, making it difficult to identify the wearer in the instance of a crime.

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,24913953-952,00.html

I am an atheist – no conversions please – but in saying that I believe everyone has the right to believe whatever they want when it comes to religion or tradition. While I understand the concerns of security, I cannot condemn anyone for the way they dress. To my mind, if a woman is happy and under no duress to wear the hijab or a burka, then who am I or anyone to say she can’t?

Smith called for Muslim women who wear an Islamic hijab in public to be fined for offensive behaviour.

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,24913953-952,00.html

Are we going to fine Priests for wearing robes? Nuns for habitual habit wearing? We have no idea what they are concealing either. Yep – I am all for security but not the infringement of people’s rights to wear what they want.

www.amarindajones.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Bravehearts….not

Early morning, as I am walking, it often amuses me to watch the bravehearts in action. Who are they? They’re the people who drive at 100km in a 60 zone and on the wrong side of the street. Yep, that’s showing us how daring they are at 4:30am when there are no cops in our sleepy suburb. Boy, for those of us awake, we’re impressed at what a wild child you are. I mean really, why would you bother? Is there some vicarious thrill in doing it? Does it make them feel brave to go against the law for a couple of minutes?

I believe these people are related to the people who post ‘Anon’ comments. Their comments are usually so bitchy and so off base that really I wonder why they bother commenting at all with their “I’m so brave that I’m going to comment but not leave my real name for fear someone will know me” mentality. Huh? What’s the point? To me you lose credibility the minute you post as anon as it invalidates your opinion because you cannot back up your beliefs with who you are – and if you are that worried about someone finding out who you are, then maybe consider the language you use and we won’t. I am sure you’ll agree most of us can work out who the ‘anon’ people are. Get some balls.

Anon’s are like the people who steal the newspaper off your front lawn. Whoa! How daring you are. We are all so not impressed with your bravado. Or those nitwits who spray paint graffiti in the dead of night tagging things to let us know they’re on the planet and can spell phonetically. Yes, just dead impressed with you too.

Worse still are those super heroes that rob the elderly or king hit someone to steal their mobile (cell) phone or shoes. Yes, I’m sure in your own mind you are a legend. To me you are a waste of space.

So what is the point of this ramble? If you are brave you do the right thing for the right reasons and you stand up and be counted without worrying about the cost. That’s brave. Hiding in the dark or striking from behind are the actions of the weak and no one admires that.

Okay – off the terribly brave to….

Author and mate, Barbara Huffert and I have books released at Ellora’s Cave on Friday 16th.. Linked by Barbara Huffert and Tantalizing Tilly by Moi are of course fantabulous books you will want to snap up…yes, how modest am I? Anyway, we’ll have a contest on Friday… watch this space...

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Desperately seeking something…

Of late of have been wondering about desperation. Am I desperate? Nah, I’m pushy but I’m too lazy to be desperate.

So what do I mean? Well, you know those people you see around you who always want something so badly that they go manic trying to get it? They want the man, the woman, the job, the book sales, the award, the money, the whatever. Yes, there is nothing wrong with ambition and need. If not for those we would have nothing. It’s more I wonder about the people who get so edgy with need that they start to alienate other people with their over-selling. I think there is a fine line between ambition and desperation and once that’s crossed people lose interest. Speaking for myself, the more you badger me for something or the louder or more forceful you are then the less likely you will ever get it. Desperation to me is a weakness and I think once people spot that weakness they begin to wonder about the person behind it. Why does she want this so badly? Is no one interested in the product she is selling? What’s wrong with it that she has to force it on us?

What interests me more are the quiet people. The ones who sit and watch and think. The ones that are there but they’re not pushing. I want to know more about them. Why aren’t they selling themselves? What’s their product? What’s their story? I often find the most fascinating man in a room is the one who sits and observes then makes his move. And I think that’s what’s missing when it comes to the desperate ones. They are so needy to succeed that they don’t stop and think about how they are being perceived.

Yes, we are all human and we will do as we chose and act as we want but I just have to wonder if your current action plan is not working are you coming across as a little desperate? You are a great product however you sell yourself, for whatever reason. Just consider your market. Maybe take a moment and be like the quiet man – observe, listen and then get what you want because you know the field.

Tuesday’s pontification is brought to you by….www.amarindajones.com

Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Monday Morning....

- wake up to Katrina and the Waves singing “Walking on Sunshine” on the radio alarm…am not…bugger off.

- Look at self in mirror – scary….wonder about term – ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’…maybe alcohol helps that.

- Swallow pills designed to speed me up

- Try password in computer 3 times – then 4 – 5th time works…good, can’t deal with computer people at 4:30am. Too many hard questions.

- Walk around the suburb for 30 mins telling myself that this is a good thing because this 30 minutes may extend my life by 30 or a least by the equivalent calories in a chocolate bar.

- Answer emails - ask questions, annoy people, read blogs

- Shower – why is my body not looking better after that 30 min walk?

- Wander around in towel for 20 minutes doing stuff

- Decide I cannot wear towel to work

- Look at possible work clothes

- Wander for another 10 minutes in towel

- Decide assassin black is always good for a Monday

- Found red and white socks – yay! Cannot wear Doc Martens without my magic socks

- Send part of current wip to work to continue writing there and make me look busy

- Checked Twanna La Fawn listing at P & E poll – 16 – not bad

- Make boring salad for lunch – feeling virtuous.

- Left home – drove out of driveway….did I lock up? Yes…no….yes…no…stop car and go back home and check…yes

- Park at work. Look at office. Go to coffee shop instead. Tall, skinny, double shot latte required

- At office – trapped for 8 hours - write, chat on line, answer occasional work question when unavoidable

- 4pm – knock off – okay it was 3:45pm but no one saw - spin wheels as I speed out of the car park

That was my day – how was yours?

*********************************

If you have voted for Twanna – thank you. If not – please click on the link below and head down to the ‘L’s’. http://www.critters.org/predpoll/novelerot.shtml. A vote for Twanna is a vote for all mankind. How so? Because we need more Twanna LaFawn’s in the world. Why? Because their shy, one could almost say ‘invisibility’ makes us reflect on the loudness of our lives…yes, complete crap but I am a writer….

*********************************

www.amarindajones.com

Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Lordy....

I have heard so much crap today that I am worn out from it. You know what I mean? What ever happened to if you have nothing good to say then shut the hell up and get off the stage?

Wishing you a peaceful, uncrap filled Sunday.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Stuff all Saturday...

You know when you buy clothes and you get a button in a tiny bag plastic attached – you know to be used on the off chance that you may never be able to find that particular shade, style and size of white button anywhere else on the planet? Well, I lost a button today and thought about finding the button bag with that matching button in it. Problem is of course, I have kept, like the useless crap hoarder that I am, what seems like hundreds of these bags going back over years. Who has time to look through all these bags for one particular button? Too hard. I used one that looked almost right. Okay, so it’s light pink and not white but it’s the right size and a blind man on a galloping horse would never notice….

Speaking of all things fashionable, I have a couple of author type gigs coming up. A friend asked me what did I plan to wear? Well, just the normal stuff that I wear. Her response – “Are you not going to dress up at all?” Well no, I never do. Anyone who knows me knows I am very causal in dress, speech and style. I hate dressing up. I’m hardly going to change style now. That would be totally against character. Besides what’s wrong with casual? Is an author supposed to dress a certain way? Feather boa? Tiara? Glass slippers? Fairy princess wings? Please advise…

On to this bit of insanity….

The Rudd government has rejected a formal request from the Bush administration to resettle a group of Chinese detained in Guantanamo Bay military prison to Australia.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/newshome/5253711

Well, why would we take people that the US wants to get rid of? Is there any sense at all in that? I have no idea if they are terrorists or alleged terrorists but Australia is not a dumping ground for inconvenient people that US does not want.

Last week, the Rudd government reportedly told the Bush administration the Uyghurs did not meet Australia's stringent national security and immigration criteria.

http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/newshome/5253711

Yeah, damn right…now push off.

Please remember to vote for Twanna La Fawn at the Preditors & Editor’s Poll. Click on the link below and page down to the ‘L’s’ until you get to her book – “Lingering Longing Lust.” Twanna is a shy little thing but I know she thanks you for the support and is sorry to be so ‘invisible’ during this crucial vote but she appreciates your time and effort. She did say, in that breathy, sex siren voice she has, “Amarinda, even if one person votes for me I’m a winner.” Yes, Twanna, you are.

http://www.critters.org/predpoll/novelerot.shtml

And before I go…the dipstickery – possibly a made up word – of another reminded me of these song lyrics I have always liked…some things you just know you don’t do….

You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off an 'ole Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Slim
("You Don't Mess Around With Jim" by Jim Croce)

Words to live by I think ….

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Whinge, bitch, moan….

We had an amazing bitch session today at work. It was almost knock off time and it was Friday and no one was much in the mood to work. It would have been un-Australian to look conscientious on a Friday arvo anyway. So we just sat around and bitched about stuff. There were no men, not that it would have stopped us, just women who said whatever the hell they wanted to without pulling punches. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking – sounds dangerous and it could have been. I have always said that I would rather deal with a battalion of men with swords than 3 pissed off women. But sometimes pissed off can be entertaining and enlightening.

Aussies tend to be outspoken. Some say it’s to do with our convict heritage or our distance from other countries. I think it’s that and I believe we basically don’t give a rat’s arse whether you agree with what we say or not. Hell, we may not agree with you but we’ll listen and argue and then all end up mates because no Aussie would ever go against another. The bond of mateship is everything in Australia. It extends from the diggers in WW1 in Gallipoli to nation building to lending a mate your thongs (flip flops) to walk across a hot road while you run across. If we like you we’ll tease you to death. If we loathe you we’ll ignore you. Yeah, I love Australia and Aussies. Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi ! No, I have stuff all idea what that means but we like to chant it and that’s all that matters.

Anyway, back to the bitch session. I believe women bond over sessions like these. We just say what we think and let everything come out into the open. I learned some mighty interesting things. I suspected who hated who but not to the degree that they did or the history behind it. I listened as people re-hashed stories that they thought I knew and light bulbs went off as information I never really understood before fell into place. So now, I am well armed with knowledge. Do I trust any of these women? Oh hell no but I respect them and I am smarter and better armed now. Yes, it’s terrible and horrible to gossip and bitch but don’t you just love it?

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Why romance books will save the world...

….Okay, so maybe that's a big call but I have been thinking how the economy is stuffed and how we can help it in our own small way. Romance books are the answer. Romance by itself will not do it. Sure, I could spruik on and on about “make love and not war” but that doesn’t help the economy. Romance can relax people but unless the sales of lingerie and adult toys increased due to said romance then just by itself it's not going to cut it. This is where romance books come in. By getting people buying them and reading them that puts cash back into the economy. No, correct, I do not have an economics degree. I have an airy, fairy arts/sociology/psyche degree. It sounds good but doesn’t mean a great deal….maybe just that you can put initials after your name and tell everyone “BA” means ‘beautifully adorable’. I did attempt to take one semester of economics at University but honestly as soon as I found out I had to calculate things using fractions and algebra and look at graphs and icky things like that I broke into a sweat and dumped the course for fear of dehydration.

So, if you keep a writer writing and buying their books….

- junk food sales go up
- alcohol consumption increases (no, me neither, I’m too pure)
- headache tablets are scoffed like candy
- sales in eye drops increase
- sudden guilty urges to get healthy – due to alcohol and junk food consumption – means writers will buy expensive fad weight loss products.
- new toys will be bought by the writer to make writing easier…at least that’s what they’ll tell you.

So when you go online and buy a bunch of e-books - not only are you saving the planet by being environmentally friendly but you are helping the economy. I am sure that also means we are all one step further away from hell.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?