Friday, 23 January 2009

Friday Freaks....

I am out west this weekend….back Sunday….have a good couple of days.

Australian Day is Monday 26th January. It’s an important day for us. We’re a fantastic, proud people of amazing country. This is song –
click here - is one of our faves. I dedicate it to all Aussies peacmaking and peace keeping all over the world.

A Tantalizing Tilly moment….

Freak of nature = supernatural being who eats human flesh.)

When the steak knife flew past her head and embedded in the door frame Tilly ducked and dived. She dropped to the linoleum and crawled on her hands and knees. It was not a usual occurrence for a blade to fly at her head in her own kitchen. Sure, some freaky-assed spirits had invaded her house in the past but they had not used her own cutlery against her. She peered around the corner of her kitchen bench to see who her assailant. Fucking Jeri. The freak aimed another knife at her head. Tilly scuttled back for cover and did a mental count of how many steak knifes she had—four—so unless Jeri started flinging forks there were only two more to go.
“What do you want Jeri?” Another knife skittered off course, hitting the fridge and taking fridge magnets with it.
“I want you dead.”
Ask a stupid question.
Tilly stood up quickly and shot back down equally as fast as the last knife flew toward her.
“Damn,” Jeri cursed angrily as she missed her mark.
Tilly stood and reached for the condiments basket on the bench. There was salt in one of them. It would not kill her but it would be enough to slow her down until she got get the rock salt and lime mixture from the garage to do the job properly. Tilly threw a shaker at the wall above Jeri’s head. Pepper rained down making the freak sneeze violently.
“Oh bugger.” Tilly always got the salt and pepper shakers mixed up.
Jeri swore and advanced toward her. There was blood lust in her eyes and pepper up her nose.
“I am going to kill you.” She sneezed rapidly in succession as the pepper continued to irritate her.
Where the fuck was the salt? Tilly lobbed the oregano at her.
What the hell was oregano doing mixed up in there? You are so a lousy housekeeper.
“What? Not going to try to eat me first? You seem to be lacking in ambition Jeri.”
“Bitch!” Jeri shrieked furiously as she dodged the oregano and ran at her enemy.
Tilly scooped up last handful of condiment containers into her shirt and ran around the counter to get away from her. She was no coward but she was not about to take on an enraged flesh eater without some defense. Tilly pinged a loaded container of cinnamon which bounced off Jeri’s head.
“Stand and fight!” Jeri roared as she raced after her.
“Oh fuck off, you’ll kill me.” Tilly wasn’t that silly. She chucked the half empty bottle of Tabasco sauce at her.
Jeri caught it and threw it back at her. It smashed and splattered against the wall.
“Whatever,” Tilly replied as onion flakes hurtled from her hand and smacked Jeri in the mouth. Score! At the time of purchase she had wondered when she would use such a big bottle of onion flakes but now she was pleased she made the right choice. Tilly made a mental note to keep quick lime in the house in future.
And label the frigging salt.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?