Friday, 3 August 2007

Emmeline, the twin, the peeler and the virgin...

Okay, here is my entry in the Emmeline, peeler, twin, zuuker saga…Kelly – and Anny – made me work for this. So here it is…who knows where Anny will take this Saturday. Check it out tomorrow.
“Touch it,” Shade moaned as he started to recover.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” Emmeline’s hand ached to caress him.
“Darlin’ if you don’t use your peeler now I will explode and that will be such a waste for both of us.”

“For god sake use the damn peeler and get it over and done with woman,” hissed the virginal Guardian of Quadro contemptuously as she looked down at the scene before her. She could not believe Emmeline was too dumb to take advantage of a fully function phallax. Virginal she may be, but she had been skilled in the uses of a man and women of Quadro certainly did not cry over men. They had specific uses and once used up they were cast aside. She shook her head in disgust. She had no time for this. She had tracked Rafe this far into the mountains and she could sense he was nearby. She turned away and ran smack bang into a hard, warm body.

“Gotcha.” Rafe pulled the woman tight and close against him, allowing her no chance to escape.
“Damn it let me go.” The virgin struggled wildly in his arms. The reality of a hard male body hot and unyielding against hers was different to the theory she had learned in the temple of Quadro.
“You will pay for touching me without my consent.” She looked him defiantly in the eye trying not to show the fear that suddenly swamped her. “I have been sent to kill you.”
“Part virgin and part assassin – never known a woman that wasn’t.” Rafe’s hands slid to her butt to press her closer to him. He saw the shock in her eyes. “You want to play with peelers? Let’s play.”
I love sitting at work reading personal email. It lightens the work day and you can continue a conversation you had seventeen emails ago and it still makes sense. It’s like an ongoing Seinfeld episode – an email about nothing. A place I used to work at a while ago had a ‘profanity filter’ on its email. That meant every email that came in was checked for swear words. My good friend Ethel, no, not her real name, likes to swear a lot. I swear myself but not to the Gold Medal standard of Ethel. That woman can use so many swear words in one sentence that I am amazed and amused and to be honest I don’t think what she is saying is physically possible anyway. I used to get called up a lot to explain Ethel’s colourful emails that had got caught up in the profanity filter. Yes, management said, they understood that people would send personal emails. They knew that they could not really stop that but the swearing concerned them. Obviously the answer was don’t read them if you get upset as they are only for me. Anyway I basically explained that Ethel had a psychological condition and that I, as a good friend, accepted this and tried to support her as she worked her way through it. And yes, even if that meant dealing with swearing as good friends did that. I added that “I am sure you understand that you stood by your friends no matter what.” This of course confused them as they weren’t sure whether I was taking the piss (Aussie for pulling their leg) or if I really did have a friend with psychological problems. In the end they accepted my sincere full of crap explanation as they did not want to come across as insensitive. When I told Ethel this she enjoyed herself all the more throwing psychological references in with the swearing.

I don’t judge anyone on how they write or speak. Some of the most eloquent sounding speakers in the world talk the biggest load of crap. Its content I try to listen to or read. Is it heartfelt and genuine? So what if it takes someone a couple of minutes to get out a sentence you and I would sprout off in a second. If the words are real that’s all I care about. I used to attend something called a ‘roadshow’ in a previous job I was once in. The CEO would come up to our worksite and call the employees into the auditorium and talk about Promptel (maybe, just maybe this company is known by another name) and how the company was doing. I used to sit and listen to the chinless one and wonder was he aware that he was talking crap and did not care or did he genuinely believe he was making sense? After attending a peer support meeting with on another employee's behalf I realized it was all well crafted crap as he could not handle the meeting at all without a prepared speech…okay, maybe he could not handle me. I can be difficult and maybe a teeny weeny bit manipultive. I know that. Maybe I am a little like my heroine Miranda without the hot CEO. However I believe if you cannot walk the walk then don’t talk the talk.
And Grasshopper...all real women know how to sashay.

Releases and Must Buy books – click on the title and snap up great romance and hot, sizzling sex. Go on, you know you want to.

Thief of Mine – Amarinda
Impure Longings – Larissa Lyons
Dancers Delight - Anny Cook
Beltaine Bargain - Cindy Spencer Pape
Prophecy of Vithan - Charlene Leatherman
Force of Nature - Robin Leigh Miller
Because I Can - Amarinda

Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


anny cook said...

Oooooh! Getting down to the nitty gritty, eh? Hmmmm. Well, I'll have to see what I can do. Yep.

Kelly Kirch said...

I think psychological problems was a brilliant explanation. I also think your world is one I'd love to visit. And dearest AJ, how could you "out" me so horribly. I've been found out now. I'm not a real woman--at least if that sashay thing holds true. Alas, I am without wobbly hips and bad ball-and-socket joints that pop in and out. I'm a young grasshopper and least you forget the graphic explanation I used to explain what I thought sashaying looked like--hmm?--would be more than happy to share with your blog readers.

Amarinda Jones said...

Please don't.