Friday, 24 August 2007

Size O? Get the hell out!

“These mortals are boring me.” Queen Zahara’s finger hovered over the universal destructo button. She was tired of watching their silly game playing through dimensions.

“You can’t kill them,” warned Beaky Sprott, her man in waiting.

“Oh why not? I expected Emmeline to have had sex at least once by now.” Was the girl slow witted?

“This is more than just about sex. A world is at stake.” Beaky was only too aware of the Queen’s restless libido.

“’Still boring.” She licked her lips and looked at the tall, lean man. “Let’s have sex again Beaky.” She might even let him come this time. Maybe. It was dependant on her mood.

“You know I can only have sex on a Tuesday…this is Friday.” Even if he could, Beaky wouldn’t. The woman’s thighs had scraped off most on his phallax scales. “We could always hasten Emmeline to her Khaleena.” He saw her magenta eyes light up.

“I was told I could never…” The thought of what he was suggesting intrigued her.

“We can but only if no one knows.”

That would almost be as good as sex. “You mean we can...”

“Yes, let’s evoke the 97th rule of dissolution.”

“Hot damn! Please may I ring the bell?” She was hot all over thinking about it.

“Be my guest, they are your sons after all.”

“Rafe and Shade take after their father – they are phallax ready but no imagination.” Her hand grabbed at the bell “Do you think the old rumour is true about the descendants of the Kinross?”

“That they turn into twins after sex? Well Emmeline is a direct descendant let’s see.”

I asked author Molly Daniels to give us a fresh character – hence Queen Zahara. Thanks Molly D. Check out her great website and books –

So what will Anny do on tomorrow? Whatever it is it will be good and Kelly will kick it up a notch further on Monday on

I was exercising this morning – puke, spew – and I was watching a delayed American broadcast from one of those perky early morning shows. I don’t do perky…I cannot even manage bouncy unless is if physically so and then I could put an eye out. Anyway they had this report on actresses in Hollywood being considered normal at size 0. What the?? What the hell is wrong with these people? Size 0? Isn’t that a size you give to babies? Why are we allowing Hollywood and fashion and so called experts tell us what is normal or what is beautiful? Why can’t you be a size 8 or 14 or 22 if you are healthy? Who says you can’t be happy at size 10 or 16? Who are these nitwits that advocate fashion trends? I lost weight because I wanted to be healthier when I am a little old lady tearing up the retirement village. I don’t give a rat’s arse for fashion. I care about me and what’s important to me. Stick your perfect measurements in your ear I say. This is what I believe:-

- you are unique and beautiful regardless what size you are
- looks fade but personality lasts forever
- sex appeal is all to do with having a good imagination and knowing you are hot even if you are a size 22
- he/she will love you because you are the bomb in their eyes

Okay, that’s as sappy as I get but you get the drift. Stuff what the so called fashionistas say. Be who the hell you want to be and live like you mean it.

Dear Amarinda, this is your horoscope for Friday, August 24th:Scorpio,With a good dose of determination, you'll manage to have your way in both work and romance, attributable mainly to a very clear outlook. Tip: be more uninhibited.

These are good stars. They mean that I will be able to write my next book at work today without work getting in the way. The clear outlook means that my email problems at work – outlook – will be fixed. Just as well as Ethel had a stress attack yesterday when I did not answer her emails. She had to – gasp – work at work! She did message me several times on my mobile indicating her rage at the company I work for not being able to get the email working. Yes, it is rude of them.

There will be no blog tomorrow. Yes, I know, you are all devastated…okay, at least pretend to be will you? I am heading up to the mountains to the retirement village to see what my father and his crazy cohorts are up to. You know, after seeing them doing what they want when they want, I don’t understand why people fear growing old or retirement. Age is just a state of mind. Be hell when you’re young and be hell when you are older…that’s my plan.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Kelly Kirch said...

"be more uninhibited"???

Someone needs to fire that sooth-sayer. A more uninhibited AJ opens the door far too wide. I shudder...

Say hi to dad for us. Have fun and don't jump into bed with anyone. I hear those homes are rather er, frisky.

anny cook said...

I wasn't size 0 even when I was born... not likely to get there now. Have a great trip. Hope your work e-mail is fixed. And I have just the thing for Queen Zahara.

Molly said...

Can't wait to see what you have in store for Queen Z...and for the record, I was a size 10 once...10 years ago. It was a wonderful 6 months:) But I'm happy with the way I look, even though the 'fashionistas' say I'm man adores me and the way I look:)

Amarinda Jones said...

I am a size 14 and a size 12 on a good day. And stuff the fashionistas

For the record I do not jump into bed with anyone. I am too pure...

Kelly Kirch said...

Uh huh. Sure, AJ. You and the Queen both.