Sunday, 21 September 2008

In the arms of morphine…

So, I had a little emergency that got me a ride in an ambulance and a trip on the gossamer wings of morphine.

‘Had a massive gall bladder attack last night. I know lots of women are now nodding their heads and going – uh huh, oh yeah baby, I know that feeling. It’s a ratshit feeling of utter pain where you are doubled up in extreme agony. Do you notice how this stuff always starts around midnight when you’re dressed in old clothes and not had a shower? (I had a shower in the morning still on water restrictions here) Bloody Murphy’s law – whatever can you wrong will go wrong at the worst possible time when you are dressed like a bag lady. The only thing I was worried about as I waited for the Ambos was I was going to throw up on the front stairs and I still have one coat of paint to go on them. Threw up in the garden instead, scaring one blue tongue lizard. Boy, he’s got a tale to tell the other lizards now.

Anyway, I can’t whinge or moan because I am alive to tell the tale. Though I did learn some interesting things – I have a heart because they did the standard check to see it I was having a heart attack. I wasn’t. My heart is apparently good – well, it should be, I never use it. Next, there was a famous Aussie footballer in the cubical next to me. How do I know this? Because a chatty orderly told me all the goss as it was happening in the hospital as I was wheeled away for tests. I love gossip – or networking as I prefer to call it. Best of all I worked out a story for a new book revolving around my hospital visit while I lay there awaiting test results. See? It wasn’t a total waste of a night.

Huge thanks to the Queensland ambulance offices for their care and assistance and for laughing at my jokes as I threatened to puke on them. The hospital staff at a certain North Briz hospital were excellent. I think sometimes we take for granted what these people do and it’s only in an emergency we realize how bloody fantastic they are. Ambo offices, emergency workers, nurses and doctors are bloody beaut. That reminds me…I must buy next year’s fire fighters calendar…purely for charity reasons of course.

As always check the great blogs listed to the side. I have become a recent fan of JJ Herbert’s Platform of Self Importance. He writes some smart stuff. Check it out
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?