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Friday, 28 September 2007

What are men like? Well…


I bought a birthday card for a friend today. It said -
What are men like? Well…

Men are like Blenders – you feel you may need one, but you’re not exactly sure why
*Hmmm…I can’t get through the day without my juicer. Not sure I need a blender or can I blend many men into one? Something like a carrot juice smoothie with chocolate and a slug of gin.

Floor tiles – Lay them properly in the first place and you can walk all over them for life.
*Terribly politically incorrect of course – however true it may be…not that I would ever do it – just an observation.

Coffee – The best types are rich, warm and can keep you up all night
*No, I just want to sleep.

Mascara – Run at the first sign of emotion
*And don’t we use this to our advantage? Any woman worth her salt is a part time Scarlett O'Hara.

Photocopiers – good for reproduction but nothing else
*I don’t agree - men are very good for getting tight lids off jars. Also, if you have a dead mouse of something, they are exceptionally good of disposing of it. Also doing mechanic things. Yep, I’d keep a man around for those reasons alone.
The ongoing blog saga - what the bloody hell is happening now?
Kelly on www.kkirch.blogpot.com left us with...
Marcus peeled off his faux human skin revealing his full stony glory and leathery wings. With an unconscious sigh of relief his wing stretched out and shivered in the night air. “She’s one of them, you idiot. You let one of her kind out and now there’s virtually nothing that can stop her.”

“Flick your Bic, baby. Do it,” she taunted. “I dare you.”
Good one Grasshopper...okay, I may have cursed you yesterday but it was done with great fondness...or something.
My turn - it may or may not be influenced by with 'moments' with the opposite sex this week.

The sound of wings approaching made Gabrielle look up into the sky. She laughed when she saw the large eagle headed towards them. It carried a bomb in one razor sharp claw. The eagle swooped in, picked Gabrielle up and dropped the bomb in one neat movement.

“You took your time Leonardo,” Gabrielle murmured as she held on to his claw as they flew through the air. “I nearly got bic’ed.” A loud explosion sounded below them. “That’ll teach ‘em.”

“It was head winds over the Pacific Ocean,” the eagle replied. “Do you want to go back and make sure they’re dead?”

“No, I’m hungry.” It was at least two hours since her last Tim Tam.

“Then I will take you back to the fortress. The last of the Omega force agents await you.”

Sam was such a smart arse thinking the Omega Force was decimated. There were three left. They were deadly and out for revenge. Gabrielle’s two favourite past times.

“One thing, Gabrielle, Maximillius is at that fortress.”

“Oh bugger.”

“He is demanding to see you.” Humans. So complicated.

“When will he get it into his head I married him to save myself from the giant sloth I had been betrothed to in childhood by my father?” It was pretty damn simple to her.

“He says he loves you.” For the life of Leonardo he could not understand why. Gabrielle was a bitch.

“Max wouldn’t know if his bum was on fire,” she responded coolly. He had a fine butt but that was not reason enough to be with any man.

“What will you do?”

“Kill him I expect.” Gabrielle yawned. “Do you know what’s for dinner Leo?”
Anny, I know, will take this is some totally weird arsed direction that no one expects. So tune in on www.annycook.blogspot.com on Saturday and once again be amazed.
Thief of Mine - review

A great light hearted run for your life with a good looking guy/gal treat. With the adrenalin pumping as the chase is on and the hormones rushing into overdrive as well, it is a volatile combination. The moral conundrum of wanting a man who was a thief and had no problem with using sex to get what he wanted was hard for her. It made interesting reading to see the changes each underwent for the other.
http://www.alternative-read.com/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

3 comments:

Kelly Kirch said...

I am the worst friend winner this week. I've been so wrapped up in trying to write and prepping for a visiting family member that I've left off with Thief. I'm somewhere after post-coital involvement (yes, vague, I know) and a photo op, and must return immediately to reading on Monday.

After which, like a good little grasshopper, I will buy Everything Lovers Can Know. Why? BECAUSE THAT'S THE INTELLEGENT THING TO DO when you want to read good books. You go and buy anything and everything written by these two ladies.

Okay, I must go write and ignore emails today.

anny cook said...

I particularly like the blender idea. Chocolate with anything works for me. And as always you are correct--men are usually quite handy for jars and mechanical stuff--cars (sigh).

Ah, the blogga. What can I say? We will see.

Molly Daniels said...

I had not heard the one about the floor tiles! God, that made my day! I'll have to remember that one!

That's okay, Kelly. I've read ELCK twice now...See? I read it for you:) Finally got BIC to upload to floppy disc...next week, I will order either TOM or DD...haven't decided which:)