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Saturday, 1 September 2007

When vacuum cleaners attack…


I bought a new vacuum cleaner. I have discovered it is the devil’s spawn of vacuum cleaners. Why? Have you seen those ads on television where they show you how powerful the suction is on the vacuum cleaner by picking up a bowling ball? Well my new vacuum cleaner could suck up a small car. It’s scary. It caused so much chaos in a fifteen minute period today that if I have a glass or seven of plonk tonight it will not be my fault. How can a vacuum cleaner go into destructo mode in the hands of one domestically challenged woman? It sucks and it sucks hard.

I started vacuuming a small mat. It sucked it right inside. Bugger, I thought. Once I freed it I started on a large shaggy mat. It sucked that down like spaghetti while shrieking like a strangled banshee. After much pulling and swearing I got the mat free but the nozzle of the vacuum cleaner flew out of my hands and suctioned itself to curtains. Bugger again. I wrenched it free from the curtains and the curtain rail came crashing down to land on my foot. Much swearing ensued as I dropped the vacuum cleaner to grab my foot. As I did this I tripped over the vacuum cleaner cord and collected a vase of sunflowers with my elbow and water went everywhere. Moral of the story? Cleaning sucks, literally.

Mrs Giggles reviewed Lust In Time. She hated it. She gave it 66 out of 100. But that’s okay. Unlike many authors Mrs G’s opinions do not upset me as I believe people should have opinions – good or bad – otherwise nothing changes and everything remains static and boring. I have opinions and I expect others to give theirs truthfully. What is the sake of saying you like something just so you don’t hurt someone’s feelings? You have to remain truthful to yourself. I have invited Mrs G to chat on the Amarinda Blog as I think she is an interesting woman. I hope she accepts. You have my email address Mrs G.

“He’s naked and can’t move – the possibilities are endless. If you can’t change his mind, you’re not the woman I know you to be.”
Quote from Dancers Delight – by Anny Cook.
http://www.cerridwenpress.com/productpage.asp?ISBN=9781419909566
Quote from Amarinda - a fascinating, funny and sexy book.

Warning Will Robinson…the excerpt below is very hot and very much adult so skip over it if you do not want to read about hot, sensual sex.
Excerpt from Everything Lovers Can Know by Anny Cook released Sept 26 from Ellora’s Cave – be second in line (after me) to snap it up.

Abruptly, she started laughing and couldn’t stop.
“What’s so funny?”
“You!” She buried her face against his neck and giggled. “I had such a romantic idea of what sex would be like. And when you came all over me, all I could think was ‘God, was it messy’!”
“Oh, yeah? No wonder you shut me out. I guess I have a lot to make up for, huh?”
She sat back and plucked at his t-shirt. “Take off your shirt. I want to see you and touch you.”
Baron stood up and lifted her in his arms. When she would have pulled her sweater down to cover her breasts, he shook his head and nudged it back up with his nose. “Leave it. Which bedroom are we in?”
Her heart turned over and she replied, “The master bedroom, of course. It has the biggest bed.”
“You’re a girl after my own heart.” He deposited her on the soft bed and leaned over her, pinning her to the bed. “You are my heart, Jade. Always.”
“As you are mine,” she whispered against his jaw. She feathered kisses along the hard line until she reached his ear. Her tongue slithered around the whorls, investigating the curves. Then she nipped his ear lobe. Can we get naked now? The question whispered in his mind.
“I don’t know, baby. Have you been a good girl?”
“Oh, yeah,” she moaned as he slipped her sweater over her head and proceeded to feast on her nipples. “I’ve been real good. I visited the doctor and had him put me on the pill.”
He dropped his head between her breasts and groaned. “You are a naughty, naughty girl. I may have to spank you for teasing me like that.”
“Take your pants off. I want to see your cock.”
“Jade,” he groaned. “I’m trying to take this slowly. I want to make love to you.”
“Baron,” she mimicked. “I don’t want to go slowly. I want you to fuck me until I go blind with it. I want to feel you buried so deeply that I can’t tell where I end and you begin.”
He stood up and pulled her over to the edge of the bed. Within moments, he had efficiently stripped her bare. She rolled onto her side, propped her head on one hand and waved for him to continue. “Skin! I want to see those clothes come off right away!”
“What? Aren’t you going to return the favor? I undressed you,” he pointed out. Then with an exaggerated sway, he sashayed over to the door, planted his hands on his hips and batted his eyelashes. “Boys like to play, too,” he pouted.
Her jaw dropped for a moment in shock. Then she bounced off the bed and rushed over to him. “Mm-mm-mm. Don’t move, you bad boy or I’ll have to give you a licking.” He helped her strip off his t-shirt, but after that, she was on her own.
She unfastened his belt, nudging and fondling his cock through his soft faded jeans as she worked. Then she dropped down to her knees and grasped his zipper tab in her teeth.
“What are you doing?” he demanded.
He watched a slow, naughty smile creep across her face as she clenched her teeth around the zipper tab. Something I read in a book.
Grasping his ass in her hands so she could hold him still, she slowly pulled the zipper tab down all the way. With fascination, he noticed that she spent a lot of time rubbing against the hard ridge of his cock with her chin. By the time, she had his jeans open, his legs were trembling. She ran her tongue down the fine line of hair that ran from his belly button to the soft curls around his cock. “Hmmm. No underwear. Were you dressing for me?” she asked as she slipped her hands inside his jeans and worked them down over his tight ass until they pooled around his knees.
“Yeah,” he growled around the knot in his throat. “I took ’em off the last place I stopped for gas.”

Have you read Anny’s instalment in the Louella and The Purple Box epic? If not go immediately to
www.annycook.blogspot.com. Then on Monday, as usual, Kelly will inject the correct note of insanity into her instalment on www.kkirch.blogspot.com.

Reminder – I have the interview with Claire Siemaszkiewicz – the publisher of Total-E-Bound on Monday and maybe theMonday after it will be Mrs Giggles…who knows? Who would you like to see interviewed? Drop me a line.
www.freewebs.com/janetdavies
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

4 comments:

Molly said...

I'm definitely buying this one! Loved the excerpt Anny posted on Wednesday!!

anny cook said...

Amarinda, you need to sloooow down. Vacuum on item per day. Such as... no, never mind. Skip the vacuuming and go directly to the reading and writing. After all, there's only so much time in life, right? Why waste it vacuuming?

Thank you for the post! I'm so glad you liked the book.

Kelly Kirch said...

Very very hot Anny. I think you short circuited my computer. Certainly short circuited me. Whew!

AJ, I died laughing at your vacuum story. You are priceless!

Hi ya Moll. Where you been?

Molly said...

Doing yard work with hubby and the kids. Darn Seth...never showed up! Oh well...got a full basement he can help me unload:) AJ, did you trap him in your vac, ha ha? Good girl...refuse to let him out until he agrees to your every wish...