Sunday, 8 March 2009

Navel gazing…

So, I was talking to a friend today and we were discussing those times in your life when you just want to be quiet and reflect on your thoughts and not deal with other people intruding. You know those times…call it ‘me’ time…call it whatever you like. It’s a time when you want to not think about anyone else’s problems but what’s on your mind, in your heart, in your soul – where you want to go, be and feel. I think it’s an essential need of all humans to say to people “piss off and leave me alone – I am going to stare at my navel for as long as I have to and no you can’t join in. This is about me – not you. I deserve time alone.”

But then what do you do with people who won’t back off? The ones that keep asking if you’re all right? That’s nice they care. It’s good to have people like that in your life. But what if they keeping asking and each time they are a little more pissy that you won’t tell them anything? What do you do? Break your retreat to soothe them – and in affect stuffing up the reason you wanted to be quiet? Ask them to respect your silence and that you just need time to do whatever you have to? And what if they won’t? Can you tell them to back off without it being a drama? I suspect not.

So why can’t we let people be do you think? Is it something in us that makes us want to know everything about a person because we have a need to tell all about ourselves? Maybe we get so caught up in our own lives that we forget to respect the needs of others even though they keep telling us over and over they’re fine. And yes, you’re right, some people aren’t fine. We all know of someone who was so not fine that they made terrible, irrevocable choices. It’s a hell of a balancing act isn’t it? Be there to listen but don’t smother the person who asks for a couple of hours quiet time. How do you know when someone’s fine but not fine? Well, you don’t do you? I think you have to trust your judgment and hope for the best - be there when they call, drop the odd email to see if they want to talk but basically understand there are times people need to be quiet.

Just pondering on individuality and respect.…
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?