Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Far out brussel sprout...

….I am always excessively annoyed when it hits 10 or 11pm and my bed hasn’t been remade with clean sheets. You know you strip the bed before work and think ‘I’ll make it when I get home’ and you never do. It’s a most annoying habit I have. It’s called being a complete and utter crap housekeeper. Yet, I do love me so despite the chaos of Chez Amarinda. That pic above is some of what you would see if you wandered into my messy abode. I like old stuff and I like weird stuff and I like to bunch it all together. There is a certain antiques collector who comes occasionally when I want to de-junk-ify and he loves ‘to shop’ at my place. I make him pay through the nose. Never negotiate with me. You will lose.

Clutter is terrible feng shui you know – it’s written in all the new age touchy-feely books. However I do have half a dozen feng shui mirrors and red tasseled things up in this room and others to counteract the badness. My theory is the ‘bad spirits’ and energy will be so confused by all the junk that they will whirl around in a mad panic and see the feng shui mirrors and somehow magically disappear. I’m not saying it works…it’s just a theory…and I’m still alive so I think that’s significant proof.

So the bed – I’m a terrible housekeeper – clean but messy. How is the possible? It just is. When you live alone – and love it – you tend to do what suits you and that’s things like not re-making the bed until you are forced to – and no, I never pull it up during the day either. Why? In my defense I read somewhere it was better to leave it as it is and let it air. Who am I to question the wisdom of others? I feel it would indicate a lack of faith in their ideas if I did. I do have an antique bed head that came out of an old brothel so the whole unmade bed thing works with that. Call it following a theme…

Anyone that comes to stay is aware that although I personally don’t have any rules that I abide by, I require the following from them - at least two weeks notice of your intentions to stay in my cluttered abode so I can snap out of feral living alone mode into hospitable –no, I’m not bloody cooking but you can cook if you want to or lets go to the fisho down the road for takeaway mode. Actually I can cook very well. I just prefer not to, because dazzle people once with your cooking skills and the buggers expect it all the time. Though I did cook last night. I even bought a new wok pan thingy for cooking stir fry. I really feel they should point out to people to remove the paper sticker under the pan because flames and paper don’t mix and it’s an absolute bugger to pull the fire blanket out to smother flames. I actually feel this was the cosmos telling me I had disrupted the cosmic order by suddenly doing some random cooking so “please don’t do it again.” I don’t have to be told twice – and the stir fry was delicious despite the drama that went with it but who doesn’t love a floor show?

So, in essence, I am hell to live with. There are people who will willingly swear on bibles attesting to this fact. I don’t pretend otherwise. Stay with me at your own risk.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?