Riding goats....

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member -- Groucho Marx

I was watching some dumb stunt on TV the other night about people trying to get a woman into an exclusive male club in Melbourne. Only penises have been allowed to enter the hallowed halls since Billy was a pup (a long time). Anyway, the members were most offended that a woman even thought of going inside the club. I'm not sure why. I think it has something to do with the men in the club don't want a woman to see them ride a goat and swallow goldfish or do some other male bonding thing that women would laugh their arses off over.

What is it with exclusive clubs? I don’t get it. I really don't. Why can't people just join without being vetted or recommended? It smacks of groups of people who set themselves up as being better than anyone else. Then they make others jump through hoops to be considered 'good enough' to interact with them. I am a diehard socialist. I believe no one is better than any other bugger on the planet and you can dream up whatever exclusivity clause you like but again you are still no better than anyone else. And that idea that someone has to be recommended? Bizzarro world...

Dear X

I am recommending Y to you. She doesn’t blow her nose on her sleeve, can use a knife and fork, crosses her legs when she sits and wouldn’t say shit for a shilling so I reckon take her on.

Yours faithfully
A

I mean come on. Really? A recommendation to join something? What? Are the people you want to join some whizz bang untouchable group that are so dazzling that one must be glad just to have a moment with them? I recommended someone recently. I said 'she's the complete opposite of me so I reckon you'll like her.’ Why did I do it when I think recommendations are dumb arsed? Because this person wanted to belong to something and while I don’t understand the exclusivity thing, I understand some people need to belong. And oh god no, I have no pull at all. They bounced her.

So, if I start a club I guarantee you that anyone can join, no recommendations will be needed and if you want to ride a goat it will be choice only and not a stipulation of membership…but bring your own goat.

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Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?