Monday, 11 May 2009

Fruit loops....

Okay…I’m confused…how can you be a fan of someone when you have no idea who they are? I keep getting these requests to ‘become a fan’ of X. I look at X and think – who are you? Why are you trawling for people you don’t know to become fans? What’s that about? Am I missing something? Is it a case of the person who collects the most ‘fans’ wins? Is it like the ‘vote for me’ authors who win only because they have annoyed the crap out of everyone? Isn’t it better to have genuine fans rather than bored people who click the acceptance button just so you don’t keep harassing them to become your fan? Maybe it’s a self esteem thing. Is there a warm, fuzzy feeling to be gotten knowing you have collected a bunch of fans and you can look at a list of them? And what are they fans of exactly? Most perplexing…if you know, please advise.

The other thing I don’t get when it comes to the whole publishing thing is group loops…sort of like Fruit Loops. Basically you get an assorted bunch of people together on a Yahoo loop, make rules for everyone to be ‘nice’ to everyone else and then chaos ensues. By chaos I mean you have a diverse range of people and none of them are going to ever mix successfully no matter how sweet they all sound. Loop people –

1. The fervent cheer leaders who want everyone to get along. Yeah right. How many sub groups of sub groups splinter off loops and bitch about their loopy friends?
2. The needy people. There is nothing wrong with need but no one wants to hear every miserable detail of your life as we all have our own miserable details to deal with – give us a break.
3. The people - writers – who are trying to keep all their writing personalities in order. You know they have several names and all of them are ‘secret’ but they always end up outing themselves by using the wrong email address to post and then we all have to pretend we never saw that sweet romance writer Mary is really writing as erotica writer Candi and sometimes as gay man Torquil to appeal to the MM readers.
4. Out and out bitches who say what they think and make the loop go all quiet – I like them.
5. Those that once you leave a loop – either forced out through natural attrition or just plain need to leave a fruit loop – treat some people like pariahs as ‘You are not one of us anyone.’
Honey, I was never one of you. The lobotomy never took.
6. The ‘look-at-me’ people – see comments above about fan collectors and vote riggers. These people continuously want you to look at them and frankly you just want them to bugger off and annoy someone else.

Honestly as much as the internet is a fantastic thing in bringing people together, divorcing them from you makes it damn hard.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?