Friday, 22 May 2009

The things we do....

Last night, after running and boxing, I ran back and forward in the gym 80 times – I kid you not - carrying 10 kilo (22 or so pound) weights. I picked one up – ten in all. I ran. I put it down. I ran back and picked up another...over and frigging over. I’m not completely sure how I didn’t drop down dead. Why did I do it? Well that bastard, er - I mean, my trainer Hugh said it was a good thing to do. Note to self – “do not jump off cliff if Hugh tells you to.” Hugh’s one of the always up and vibrant people and no matter how many times you call him a sadistic bastard he just laughs and says ‘go harder’…

Things my Trainer - Hugh says to me...

- ‘come on breathe’ - my general response is ‘no, piss off I don’t want to. His response is ‘do you want to die and make me to look bad?’ Mine – ‘what? Can't handle the pressure of a dead client?'
- ‘how does that feel?’ - this is when I have my leg bent backward with my heel against my arse – ‘pretty much as you'd expect with you foot on your bum.’
- ‘we can do this’ – Huh? ‘Hey fella' – what’s this ‘we’ business? I'm the only one sweating here.’
- ‘what happens to Temperance after chapter three’ (Dark Souls- he bought the book - no, I didn’t force him). ‘Don’t make me do knee lifts and I may tell you.
- ‘so what are you doing on the weekend?’ Usually said when I am at my most breathless and strained. ‘The weekend? My plan is to be comatose after this.’
- ‘out of ten how do you feel?’ Hmmm, not sure, what number is ratshit equivalent to?
- ‘I'm going to smash you today.’ Trainer speak apparently. Slack arsed 45 year old woman speak – ‘Honey I've been at work all day - there ain't nothing left to smash.’
Hugh - ‘come on you can skip more than that.’
Amarinda – ‘how many can you skip, mister?
H – ‘It's not about me.’
A – ‘Scared a 45 year old woman can kick you arse?’
H – ‘No.’
A- ‘Prove it.’
H- ‘No.’
A – ‘Chicken.’
H – ‘Fine - whatever - give me the rope.’
This is a very good tactic as I get a rest.
- ‘you really can squat low.’ I am not convinced this is a talent myself.
- ‘how fun was work today?’ Um – go back to the ratshit scale.
- ‘is that as fast as you can run?’ I never fall for that one.
- ‘pain is good.’ Me – ‘oh piss off - not on my planet.’
- ‘you can knock 30 seconds off your time’ - yes, if I had bionic legs
- ‘your shoulders are really tense and knotty’ – yes, they match my mind and I’d hate to break up the set.
- ‘what are your goals?’ - oh, the usual - world domination, the freedom not to run with 10 kilo weights….
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?