Wednesday, 13 May 2009

I swear....

I'm swearing off men...and no, I'm not going to bat for the other side either. But I just can't, at this moment, understand the need for men. Oh sure - yes, they can be amusing up to a point and the whole reaching up high for stuff and unscrewing jar lids thing is useful but really, what is the point of them after that? I have discovered they're actually pretty damn irritating when you have to deal with them for any length of time on an ongoing basis. I actually believe that Eve made Adam take the bloody apple hoping somehow the wrath of god, or insert other cosmic being's name here, would split them up and she would have five seconds peace. But no, she got stuck with him for life and the rest as they say is history or legend or maybe just bad luck.

I don't dislike men. I just can't work out how they think, why they say the stuff they do, nor do I get the whole master of the universe thing and I'm too tired to try and work out the code now. I suppose if you married young and raised a man up with you then you would have them to a point where you could say 'sit' and 'stay' but I'm to busy to take a pet - er, man - on now. And that whole mind of their own thing? What’s that about? Who needs it? And all the emotions you have because of them? Pukeable. If I wanted more angst in my life I could kick my broken toe or try to epilate my under arms again for that.

As god, or insert cosmic being’s name here, is my witness...never again…give me chocolate – happy food - and a good book – drama - any day…and maybe just a bottle of Tequila because…well just because.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?