Ass – u – me

Assumptions allow the best in life to pass you by -- John Sales

Recently someone made an assumption about me that was so wrong. He was under the impression that anyone who wrote erotic romance was some wild sex craved woman who lived only for sexual gratification. Uh huh…he was disappointed but hey, life goes on. Why do you think we make such assumptions?

Why do we think overweight people are lazy? Nine times out of ten they’re not and they could run rings around a thinner person. Why do we think a thinner person is lucky because they are slim? Many times there’s a story behind the lack of weight that’s not a happy one. Why do we believe a beautiful woman is bound to have men falling at her feet? A lot of real beauties don’t because they can be found intimidating. In the same token, someone you or I may consider unattractive is not necessary so. No one can assume what is attractive can they? It’s not like you can physically look into someone’s mind and see beauty.

A charming man, in small bursts, may seem like the ideal lover but when dealing with him on a one to one basis for an hour or more, is not necessarily as charming as you assumed him to be and maybe that superficial layer is something he hides behind. I’ve often noticed the biggest man in the gym cannot lift the weight I can. I can’t assume body mass equals strength. Heart and endurance is more important. And what about the tough man who cries? Is he less of a tough guy because we assume men like this keep everything inside and forge on regardless? Should we assume the loudest person is the most correct? Is the quietest the least interested?

What I am meandering on about is I reckon we make a lot of assumptions based on what we want to believe or need to feel. There’s something in us that wants to see a picture, a person and make a decision that neatly places that person into a nicely boxed up category so we feel safer and more in control. It’s got nothing to do with the actual person. I reckon most of the time we get it completely wrong with our assumptions and we miss out on knowing some amazing people.

You must stick to your conviction, but be ready to abandon your assumptions -- Denis Waitley

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