What a girl wants…

So, I'm writing another paranormal. I jump from them to contemporary a lot. I have no real genre that I write it. It's a mood thing. Anyway, I am writing about a heroine who learned a hard lesson in love - she found out the one she loved never really gave a rat's arse about her. At least that’s how she feels. And frankly, in my books, who cares what he – let’s call him the ‘toe rag’ - thinks. He's a rat in the world of romance. Any man who upsets the heroine - makes her cry, makes her regret things she did or said or even for one second makes her pine for him - then he is a nitwit that is not worth her time or effort and he will be run down as an insensitive, inadequate lover - and fair enough. He is a toe rag. Nup – I don’t have to justify any of that. It’s my book. Mess with the heroine and you’re fair game.

Of course her run in with said toe rag makes it hard for the true hero. He wanders in all hero-like, sexy and sweet and he gets all this attitude from our girl. She's like 'talk to the hand' and 'back off Betty' when he tries to make a move on her. The last thing she wants is another man making her life miserable. I mean – come on – why even bother? I think its hard work being a hero sometimes. They have to deal with a lot of baggage. But then, so does the heroine. She actually believed, for one, mad moment she loved the toe rag and then she finds out that her judgement was shot to hell. In fact maybe she had no judgement at all and it was all hormones that had her so emotionally caught up in the toe rag. Maybe chocolate could have given her the same rush. Maybe she could have had a really good relationship with a vibrator – who knows?

So when the hero comes along…why would she would to fall at his feet? She's toughened by experience and there is no way she is about to drop her shields to be hurt again. Yes, how exhausting. But the thing is the hero - being the hero - is ready to deal with all the drama and the anger because he's not stupid. The toe rag may have had issues with the heroine's weight or looks or whatever - maybe she just had more balls than the toe rag - that's usually the case - but the hero sees only one thing - the woman he knows, with every beat of his heart, is the one for him. He prepared to wait, to be patient. He loves her even if she is too damn dumb to see it.

She in turn is thinking 'holy crap, I'm falling for him. I must stop this now.' So naturally she fights it, throwing up every possible barrier she can find. Sure, maybe she can have sex because she tells herself that's just lust but suddenly every touch of his hand or his lips makes her feel so amazing that she can’t remember why the hell she was fighting him and maybe, just maybe he is the one. But how do you know if he is? Well - just do. No, really I believe that’s the case. We’ve all fallen for a dipstick but you know when ‘the one’ comes along. A lot of dipstick men have to cross your path before you go ‘oh – I want way more than you, dickhead.’

See how angst ridden romance writing is? You put you own life and experiences in it. If you hate men at any moment when you are writing, you have to try really, really, really hard not to kill the hero. That’s bad in romance writing. Rule number one. Try to keep the hero alive no matter what crap is going on in your own life. Dead hero = bad.

Lordy…writing can be a hard business. Do I believe in love? Yes. There is someone for everyone and he/she may take years to wander into your life. If you are still waiting – hold on. If a toe rag has broken your heart – then know that you are worth more and the hero will show up. My tip? Try not to kill him…driving him crazy is perfectly acceptable though.

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