Oh push off…

I have this terrible habit that is killing me. The worst part of it is it's a habit I've had since I was a kid. In fact all Jones women have the same habit. I see it in all the family photos. I never realized how bad this habit was until someone pointed it out to me. Now I’m paying for it and it hurts to go cold turkey and not do what I normally do. Add to that, there is an ongoing crap penalty if I do not break this habit.

What is this terrible Jones family curse? I have a habit of putting all my weight on one leg when standing - usually my left – then some on my right leg - then I swing my left hip out to the side and put my hands on hips. No, I didn't think it was so bad but my trainer Hugh says it is because I am displacing my weight incorrectly. I gave him my standard eye roll and too-bad-so-sad-who-gives-a-rat’s-behind look. His response - apparently for my own good – ‘can’t work it out how it is yet - he makes me do ten push ups every time I stand in my habitual manner. I frigging hate push ups. I have girl arms - not boy arms - and it's killing me. Sure, I'm getting good at them but they are pukeable to do. And yes, it's easy to say 'well don't stand that way' but it's traditional for Jones women. It's like saying don't flout authority, don't eat Tim Tams, don’t be bossy, don't buy junk that clutters your home. It's just what we do. We stand with attitude.

And you’re probably asking 'how' he makes me do push ups. He guilts me into it. First he tried – “do you want one leg more muscular than the other?” This got just a shoulder shrug from me. Care factor? Zip. Now he's says "if you’re not up to the incredibly simple challenge of changing your life by correcting the way you stand….." Bastard. I can’t ignore a challenge or a dare.

I forsee many more push ups in my future. I blame the first Jones woman for passing on the genetic tendency to stand like a hooker.

I’m also here today talking about Fear of Being...

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