I arced up (got cranky) the other day at the way a male sales person spoke to one of my female colleagues in the office. He was so rude and dismissive to her that I could not sit at my desk and listen to it. So, I fronted him over it. I am not genetically inclined to stand by or in this case sit by and say nothing while someone bullies another and makes 'em cry. Oh hell god damn no. I waded in and told him that it was unacceptable to treat anyone in this manner that he needed to pull his head in and have some basic courtesy when dealing with others. I added that just because he wanted something now, yelling at or belittling someone did not make it happen. I indicated that he was coming across as a complete prick. He was shocked. I tend to do that to people when I open my mouth. He said no one else had ever said that to him and certainly not those he was ‘supposedly’ upsetting. No ’supposedly’ sunshine. You were upsetting. I pointed out that tears were generally a pretty good indication someone was not happy and that nervous, shy, scared people rarely confront a bully.
He called me today to apologise. We had a long talk today about men and women and life and judging someone before speaking. No, you’re correct - none of us get it right but we should at least try to think at least 5 seconds before we speak. He asked what he should do. I said ‘apologise to the woman/women you upset.’ What about you he said? I pointed out that he didn’t upset me. He pissed me off. That was different. I also added that we both knew if he tried that crap on me I would shove it right back in his face. His response was ‘yeah I know.’ He’s not a bad guy. Everyone is under the pump in the current economic climate. I get he is stressed. Just don’t take it out on someone weaker.
Another colleague in a northern office sent me this to remind me of something. Yeah, you’ve probably seen it before but I think we need to have it reinforced to us every so often.
“Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren’t as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.”
So, don’t settle, work on forgetting the one who won’t climb and know that you’re amazing.
And why the Johnny Depp picture? No reason other than he’s quite lovely.
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book
Saturday, 25 July 2009
Kicking arse…
Posted by Unknown at 6:07 am
Labels: Amarinda Jones, Ashley Ladd, bullies, kicking ass, Sandra Cox
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1 comments:
Good for you, Ms. Amarinda! I'm sure it meant alot to your coworker to have someone stand up for her.
And I like the analogy:)
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