Rambulations…

Who Knew – now available at Ellora’s Cave. It’s a free Amarinda book – just click on the cover and download the story. What’s it about? Sex, romance, men who get in your face and make you crazy…usual stuff…

Shoulder pads…

…I thought they went out of fashion with Alexis Carrington in Dynasty. I never really understood why a woman wants to look like a line backer. Yes, I am lucky I do have good shoulders. Actually, they’re probably the only part of me sans cellulite. There you go – a bright spot. Anyway I bought this shirt – purple – matches my eyes - and it had shoulder pads. Seriously? It’s 2009? I ripped those suckers right out. Haven’t we graduated from looking butch? Can’t we have sloping, thin, sagging or girly shoulders? And who looks at someone’s shoulders anyway? Okay – I will admit I’m quite keen on a man’s shoulders but it’s more the structure, shape and touchability (could be a made up word) factor. Men don’t generally wear shoulder pads. I say ‘generally’ because one of my many, many jobs – 29 in all - was working as a trainee manager, after I left high school, in a large department store. We got rotated through all the departments including menswear and I learned a lot about what men wear and the secrets they hide.


I could tell you some stories about men and clothes and what they want measured. Did I measure anyone? Sure waist, chest and neck – anything else I called a male colleague. Why? Because only a dipstick male seeking some perverted thrill would ask an 18 year old female sales assistant to measure his inside leg and I do not drop to my knees for anyone. Besides, I kind of liked watching B, one of the sweetest, gayest men, jumping in to help me in situations like this. He would act extra ‘gay’ at times like this to make me laugh and make the man he was measuring very, very nervous.

Anyway – what men disguise – shoulders – a lot of suits got sent away for extra special padding to accentuate the shoulders. Feet – no man will admit to small feet and the majority, I found, bought shoes larger that they should be. And no, I don’t think there is any correlation between foot size and penis size. All women know that but clearly some men believe it. Underwear…oh lordy – you do not want to know what some men buy. I think we’ve all come across men who use padding to…well, I’m not sure why they shove padding down the front of their jocks. It’s not like a woman can’t tell…so why would a man bother? But, as a then fresh faced 18 year old, I was agog when B told me. Now at 45 it takes a lot to agog me. Actually best friend Ethel and I were only talking about a man we used to work with at Promptel (code word for crapacious phone company) who used to pad the front of his tight, tight trousers. It fascinated all the women as the padding would constantly shift through the day until it was sliding down his leg. You have to wonder why you would bother, though it did keep us all amused.

Padding? Be yourself. Our original design although flawed is what we were meant to be and quirky is sexy.

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Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?