I was driving to the gym this morning and I heard this advert come on the radio for a company who specializes in DNA testing for 'those special moments'. The voice over man made it sound very seductive so I listened in wondering if this was a better gift to give someone rather then me asking what someone wanted for their birthday. I like to be practical with gift buying – tell me and I’ll buy it…anyway…special moments...what are they? Well, apparently 'special' is for things like checking what your lover has been up to - specifically who they have been having sex with. Nice or with an Aussie accent - noice.
So first up there is paternity testing. Yes, that's pretty spesh (special) isn’t it? Finding out you are not the biological father of a child. You know, I think people can pretty much do what they want. That's personal choice. But I reckon if you have a lover and you are in another relationship at the same time then for god sake use a condom if there is any possibility of pregnancy happening. I really don’t get why women do not insist upon this. Multiple lovers? Fine – whatever. Unknown paternity? Tacky. It's just wrong for the child that results from these unions.
Next - disease - yes - you can apparently swab your lover/significant other and have them tested for various diseases. Now, I'm not sure how you go about doing a cheek swab without them wondering why you are asking them to open their mouth while you insert a swab. How does one explain that? Do you tell them 'I think you are harbouring boy germs' or maybe that you are thinking of becoming a Forensic scientist and you need practice?
Next up - special can also include having your DNA tested for 'curiosity.' Uh huh. Now, I don’t know about you but I have so many other things to do in life that I'm pretty good to leave my DNA untested. What's to be curious about? You’re alive – what more is there to know?
I also have to ask - if you are worried about paternity or disease or whatever - wouldn’t it be better to haul arse to the Doctor and talk to them and get the tests done? Why pay through the nose for a 'special moment' that may just screw with your life when you get the results back? Why be broke and also miserable? Yes, I know it's a sign of the times and people make mistakes but there ain’t nothing spesh in any of this.
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
So first up there is paternity testing. Yes, that's pretty spesh (special) isn’t it? Finding out you are not the biological father of a child. You know, I think people can pretty much do what they want. That's personal choice. But I reckon if you have a lover and you are in another relationship at the same time then for god sake use a condom if there is any possibility of pregnancy happening. I really don’t get why women do not insist upon this. Multiple lovers? Fine – whatever. Unknown paternity? Tacky. It's just wrong for the child that results from these unions.
Next - disease - yes - you can apparently swab your lover/significant other and have them tested for various diseases. Now, I'm not sure how you go about doing a cheek swab without them wondering why you are asking them to open their mouth while you insert a swab. How does one explain that? Do you tell them 'I think you are harbouring boy germs' or maybe that you are thinking of becoming a Forensic scientist and you need practice?
Next up - special can also include having your DNA tested for 'curiosity.' Uh huh. Now, I don’t know about you but I have so many other things to do in life that I'm pretty good to leave my DNA untested. What's to be curious about? You’re alive – what more is there to know?
I also have to ask - if you are worried about paternity or disease or whatever - wouldn’t it be better to haul arse to the Doctor and talk to them and get the tests done? Why pay through the nose for a 'special moment' that may just screw with your life when you get the results back? Why be broke and also miserable? Yes, I know it's a sign of the times and people make mistakes but there ain’t nothing spesh in any of this.
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
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2 comments:
Special moment, eh? Hmmm. My daughter had to pay for a paternity test for her ex and since there was no insurance, they paid through the nose. I wonder if this would be cheaper? That would be really special.
Be still my heart, its a pic of a cat.....
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