Thursday, 4 June 2009

Very spesh…

I was driving to the gym this morning and I heard this advert come on the radio for a company who specializes in DNA testing for 'those special moments'. The voice over man made it sound very seductive so I listened in wondering if this was a better gift to give someone rather then me asking what someone wanted for their birthday. I like to be practical with gift buying – tell me and I’ll buy it…anyway…special moments...what are they? Well, apparently 'special' is for things like checking what your lover has been up to - specifically who they have been having sex with. Nice or with an Aussie accent - noice.

So first up there is paternity testing. Yes, that's pretty spesh (special) isn’t it? Finding out you are not the biological father of a child. You know, I think people can pretty much do what they want. That's personal choice. But I reckon if you have a lover and you are in another relationship at the same time then for god sake use a condom if there is any possibility of pregnancy happening. I really don’t get why women do not insist upon this. Multiple lovers? Fine – whatever. Unknown paternity? Tacky. It's just wrong for the child that results from these unions.

Next - disease - yes - you can apparently swab your lover/significant other and have them tested for various diseases. Now, I'm not sure how you go about doing a cheek swab without them wondering why you are asking them to open their mouth while you insert a swab. How does one explain that? Do you tell them 'I think you are harbouring boy germs' or maybe that you are thinking of becoming a Forensic scientist and you need practice?

Next up - special can also include having your DNA tested for 'curiosity.' Uh huh. Now, I don’t know about you but I have so many other things to do in life that I'm pretty good to leave my DNA untested. What's to be curious about? You’re alive – what more is there to know?

I also have to ask - if you are worried about paternity or disease or whatever - wouldn’t it be better to haul arse to the Doctor and talk to them and get the tests done? Why pay through the nose for a 'special moment' that may just screw with your life when you get the results back? Why be broke and also miserable? Yes, I know it's a sign of the times and people make mistakes but there ain’t nothing spesh in any of this.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Anny Cook said...

Special moment, eh? Hmmm. My daughter had to pay for a paternity test for her ex and since there was no insurance, they paid through the nose. I wonder if this would be cheaper? That would be really special.

Sandra Cox said...

Be still my heart, its a pic of a cat.....