Sunday, 2 December 2007

Days of our Lives....

I was speaking to Ethel today. We needed to get our stories straight for something so if questioned we both said the same thing. Yes, of course it could be called lying but I prefer to use the term the ’mutual response approach.’ Anyway, we got to talking about the bad old days at our old job at Promptel, no, not the company’s real name. If I speak the real name, the devil appears and tries to claim me as one of his own…oh, wait that happened last Thursday. Actually, I think it’s more like a plague of locusts appear. That’s right. Devil – locusts – easy to mix up. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, Promptel. It is a phone company that I worked at for many years – 13 and a half horrible years. Why did I hack it that long? The pesky mortgage and I was hanging out for what we called the Big R or sometimes the big arse – Redundancy. I still hear angels sing when I hear that word. Next to biting into a Tim Tam a redundancy is a beautiful thing. In our last year of Promptel, Ethel, Katie and myself talked about redundancy every single day at work. We were obsessed. We badgered management constantly about it. They denied it at all turns. There is the one infamous moments(there were a few) in my Promptel career when I asked the head of Promptel in a big meeting when they were going to announce redundancies as we needed to know fact as opposed to rumour. This, as you can imagine, went over like a led balloon as that was the last thing they wanted to discuss with staff. I was basically given the death stare and told to shut up. That answered my question in itself so I as happy.

So when the joyous day came and redundancies were announced we were hysterical with glee. We got to escape with money! God knows we deserved it. The thing was though, Promptel, in its infantile wisdom, decided to make the staff work at proving why they needed to be made redundant. This was no effort for me, Katie or Ethel. We had been driving Promptel to the point of insanity in the previous 12 months. We had to be on the top of their hit list. Still, we had to go through the ‘selection’ interview. This is a brief snapshot how mine went with the Centre manager Pee Wee, no, not his real name but deadly accurate all the same.

PW – I have to officially ask you Amarinda – do you want a redundancy? (Big sigh he knew the answer)
A – Hell yes and for the record and does a chicken have lips?
PW – Every word of this conversation gets recorded Amarinda. Do you want that on your record?
A – Sure why not. (3rd party recording interview giggled)
PW – Going by your record you are not a team player, you don’t pay attention to the stats you are supposed to get and you do not adhere to set break times
A – Uh huh and you’re point is?

PW – You are also demanding and obstructive to management
A – Yep, and don’t forget incorrigible
PW – And yet Amarinda for all that somehow your phone work is excellent
A – Well I cheat
PW – How?
(I told him – smirk from recorder, blood vessel ready to burst in PW’s head)
PW – You know I want to get rid of you
A – For once we agree on something. Where do I sign?
PW – There is a 2 week cooling off period
A – I’m not sweaty. Where’s the pen?
PW – I am happy to give you a reference
A - (hysterical laughter) Oh wow, you’re serious or maybe drunk?
PW – I think you would be surprised what I would say about you.
A – Honey, nothing surprises me.

That’s how I escaped Promptel. Katie was happily pushed out and Ethel was gone after a messy battle. Am I proud that I drove them nuts? Well of course, only I could have done it so well.

Five fast ones with author Sandra Cox…..
1. What star sign are you? Name one fabulous characteristic of this sign.
Capricorn. Tenacious.

2. Aliens surround your house during your favourite TV show. You are in grave danger. Do you turn up the sound? Grab your laptop and start taking notes for your next book? Or do you turn off the lights and pretend you’re not at home? Or none of the above?

Alas I don't have a laptop so I would grab the notebook sitting beside the bed and start taking copious notes

3. My favourite food is….because…. does a body good

4. If I was in charge of the world I would….
….make sure everyone spayed and neutered their pets

5. Name your special talent.

I have a talent for finding fabulous on line friends.

Boji Stones – Sandra Cox - click on the cover and buy the book – shopping at your fingertips…

The gods forged a copper amulet with a beautiful amethyst at its center. Two plain stones, the size of small coins, flanked the lavender gem. The female stone smooth, the male stone’s texture rough. Then the gods fused the amulet with healing. Or so legend has it…

Maureen Sinclair a modern day, kick ass woman, has an ancient secret. More than just a charming antique set with unusual stones, the copper band she wears on her forearm possesses healing powers.

But two men have discovered her secret. One is a madman out to destroy her. The other is a gentle scholar. But is he friend or foe?

Now Maureen must fight for her very life and that of the man she loves while protecting the secret of the BOJI STONES.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Sandra Cox said...

So a redundancy is like being offered early retirement?
Thanks for hosting me, bud. Much appreciated.

Anny Cook said...

So I added a comment and it evidently went off into the atmosphere over Australia. Hmmm. I wonder what I wrote?

Oh, yeah. Glad you received the redundancy. What will you do for an encore?

And Sandra, I'm waiting for book 2. Get cracking!

Kelly Kirch said...

What is a "redundancy"? What is a "redundancy"?

I'm guessing it's a uhh... hmmm... layoff package? Severance deal? I dunno.

Amarinda Jones said...

Redundancy equals- we have to cut staff and we really want to get rid of you and we think that only way you will leave us is to pay you ouy - here's money - get thee gone