Thursday, 13 December 2007

The write way....

I got my FLEs for Mad About Mirabelle today. What is a FLE? Good question. I am never 100 % sure what FLE stands for. It could be Front Line Edits or Final Line Edits or Formalized Liquor Etiquette or something similar – maybe Feed Leslie Eggs. Anyway, basically just before your book hits the shelves or cyber space a FLE person goes through your book with a fine tooth comb and questions stuff you may have in there. I am lucky as I have a bloody good editor and before it gets to FLE stage, she has already gone through the book and put comments like “What the hell are you thinking?” or “Speak in American” or “The hero would have to three hands and a toothpick between in his teeth and a chisel between his toes to do that manoeuvre” or the ever popular “Fix.” So writing the book is only just a very small part of the whole deal. I would not be an Editor or FLE person (I am sure they have a specific name) for quids. Too hard. I am way too half arsed in my approach to things.

I thought I would share some of the recent words the FLE person pulled me up on. I am an Aussie. I tend to write as I speak. It can be quite colourful but I am slowly learning to tone it down for the books as requested. My Editor is also an Aussie and the odd Aussie word will slip past her as it’s completely normal for us to speak Aussie. I also have a habit of making words up. Every book I write I try to slip in some of my more favourite made up words just to see how alert the FLE person. Anyway, below are the words or phrases that apparently non-Aussie’s wouldn’t understand.

penially challenged- so named in 2004 after Pee Wee, a manager who slept with various office staff, until one of them made a very, very public announcement about the size of his tackle(penis). It was one of the few days we really enjoyed ourselves at work.

pukeable – I love this word. It says it all. I am waiting for the Webster’s people to put it in the dictionary …you know, something like ‘pukeable – see Amarinda Jones’…okay maybe not like that but you know what I mean.

Chance would be a fine thing – This is a pommy (English) saying. It’s from when I lived and worked in Blighty(England) for a couple of years. It means if I could be so lucky.

Does a chicken have lips? One of my favourites - translation - that’s a ridiculous question to ask.

mod cons – I thought this was obvious but apparently not. Its modern conveniences – that which the Jones girl refuses to live without.

carry on a treat – I could have said carry on like a pork chop or have a spak attack or throw a wobbly but I restrained myself. It means to get upset.

she lobbed in – she arrived, she appeared. I lob, she lobs, they lob, we all lob.

shag on a rock – no, not what you think. It means to be left waiting for someone to arrive.

Spruik – talk, speak, annunciate

turn up for the books – how unusual

having her on – kidding, joking or pulling one’s leg

I did find the fact that I wasn’t allow to imply that women are nosy very odd. Why? We are. I’m a woman, I am. It’s our job and we’re good at it. What’s the problem with that?
Am I annoyed at the FLE? No, of course not. She and my Editor stop me looking dumb…you gotta love on to something completely different...
Bye, bye birdie...

I have had this bird nesting in a hanging wall ornament that is beside my front door. It has been a tad inconvenient for both of us as every time I arrive home from somewhere I forget the bird’s there and I charge up the stairs and scare both the bird and myself. She scarpers and I usually swear. Anyway, we had gotten into this strange pattern and the bird continued to nest there. I can be a total bitch – no, really – but I was not about to evict her with an egg in the nest. This morning the bird was doing what birds do and the egg was there. When I got home this arvo, no bird and no egg – also no note. You would think after free rent she would have least said goodbye. I suspect a lizard played toe cutter and ate the egg. That’s nature and circle of life…

Do you want to win some fantastic holiday reading? Of course you do. If so come celebrate the Twelve days of Romance with 12 authors from Ellora's Cave, Wild Rose Press, Total-E-Bound and Cerridwen Press. Each day beginning December 8th and running through December 19th one of the twelve authors will tell what their "True love gave to them" on either their blog or website.Collect all twelve answers and e-mail them to with 12 days of Romance in the subject line to win some great books.
There will be three lucky winners. The prizes –1st prize--6 books, 2nd prize--4 books, 3rd prize--2 books. All books and prize winners will be drawn randomly
Anny Cook Winter Hearts
Sandra Cox Boji Stones
Bronwyn Green Ronan's Grail
Heather Hiestand Cards Never Lie
Barbara Huffert Deal of a Lifetime
Amarinda Jones Mad About Mirabelle
Kelly Kirch Time for Love
Cindy Spencer Pape Cowboy's Christmas Bride
JacquƩline Roth Access Denied
KZ Snow Mrs. Claws
Lacey Thorn Earth Moves
All answers must be received no later than the stroke of midnight 21st December (Northern hemisphere time) or worlds collide and you don’t want to be responsible for that now do you?
Anny is again talking xmas on and Kelly has the next episode in the blog saga on
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Anny Cook said...

Sad about the bird.

As for FLEs, at least you have the excuse of being Aussie. They cut some of my expressions and words and I swear I was raised the entire time in America.

Kelly Kirch said...

Penially challenged makes perfect sense to me. Are we even certain that the FLEs are American or just fakers to throw us all off our game? I wonder...

Molly Daniels said...

So this is what I have to look forward to if an e-pub ever accepts me? I shudder at what I'll have to change!

We had several birds nesting on our porch over the summer. Then daugter decided to trim the ivy and they all left.

Bronwyn's Blog said...

I'm prticularly fond of 'throw a wobbly.'