Saturday, 22 December 2007

Saturday Christmas ramblings…


G –I am the ghost of Christmas future, Amarinda Jones.
A – Uh huh…
G – You aren’t alarmed by my presence?
A – Its 4am in the frigging morning. Maybe after I have three cups of coffee I’ll have a go at being shocked, okay?
G – I have come to show you the future, Amarinda.
A – You know, all things considered I would rather just wing the future. Whatever happens, happens.
G – But aren’t you interested to know how your present affects your future?
A – Only so far in knowing if Ethel, Katie and I win the lotto super draw next Saturday
G – What about the past?
A – Ach! Too many mistakes - but they’re over and done with and I have moved on
G - Well, I gotta tell you this is disappointing.
A – Are you sure you have the right house? Maybe you were supposed to lob into a house with someone who worries about that kind of stuff
G – No, your name is on the list under ‘incorrigible - must mend her ways’. So, the whole Christmas-another-year-is-nearly-over-what-have-I-done-with-my-life-thing doesn’t bother you?
A – Nah, can’t sweat over the stuff I have done or what I will do in the future
G – This is embarrassing. I am supposed to scare the crap out of you and make you a better human being. How am I going to explain this at head office?
A- Hey, you can’t be scary all the time. It’s too much pressure on you. Let it go. I’ll tell you what ghost boy, if anyone asks I’ll say you were ultra scary and I’m mending my ways. Want a Tim Tam?

Ghosts…demons… past mistakes, current mistakes…move on…don’t let ‘em scare you

It makes you think….

As many people do, I sponsor a child overseas. M is now 14 and lives in Bangladesh. We write letters back and forward. Every time I sit down to write a letter I stop and think – what to write? This is a young woman who lives a completely different life to what I do. She does not have the advantages I have. She is just happy to go to school, have access to books and be with her family. It makes me stop and think every time. As much as I love mod cons and all the amenities and possibilities I have access to, M makes me think about how lucky I am. I think we need constant reality checks like this to realize our lives are pretty good and the petty trivialities we whine over are nothing. So what does a western, erotic romance writer write to a young woman in the third world? Simple things – stuff that is just about life and living in Australia. It’s simple and nice and I like to take the time to be just plain old Amarinda stripped of gloss and down to the bare bones of being a person. Thanks M.

Christmas in Australia…’s bloody hot mate. Despite the heat, some people still follow the traditional Christmas dinner of roasted turkey or pork and plum puddings. Not this little red duck. The Jones family will barbeque on the patio in the shade with a glass or seven of something cold and fermented. We will throw prawns(shrimp) on the barbie and basically relax. We’re not fancy people. We are as you find us. We do not eat ourselves into a food coma as that is just sad and wasteful. Other Aussies will head to the beach or the bush. It’s a time for sunscreen, sundresses and shorts. Lifeguards will warn people to swim between the flags on the beaches as they watch for sharks in the sea. The police will be on the roads catching those people stupid enough to drive drunk or drugged. Kids will play cricket in the park or ride brand new bikes around the neighbourhood. Christmas in Oz is simple and casual. Australia – I love it.

Themes at Christmas…

I went shopping for sundry bathroom items this morning – toothpaste, dental floss, toilet paper and hair conditioner. I got to the check out and the check out chick said “It’s great they make it to fit the Christmas theme.” I looked at her blankly as I had no idea what she meant. She continued, “I like to match my toilet paper to fit the occasion.” I looked down at the pack I had grabbed off the shelf without thinking. I guess it looked Christmassy but to tell you the truth I don’t agonize of what pattern is on my dunny paper. But it was important to this woman. Fair enough. If it makes her happy – what the hell.

The comp…

The competition is closed. The winners will be announced soon. It has been a very interesting and enjoyable experience thanks to all those people who entered. We greatly enjoyed and appreciated your comments. We look forward to bringing another similar competition in 2008.

A Rose Perfect moment…
Rosanna Harlow was drunk. Not falling down, gut spewing drunk though. More like happy, glowing, in love with the world tipsy. The sort of tipsy that made her cheeks glow red and her green eyes dance with happy enthusiasm. Tomorrow, of course, her face would be pale and her eyes red but that was okay. It was New Years Eve 2005. Rosanna had a lot to celebrate. She had no job and no man in her life. Add to that a broken big toe, from her latest renovating disaster and the fact that she was in debt up to her eyeballs and she was doing just swell, thank you very much. Rosanna Harlow’s life was just one big celebration of madness. She was glad to farewell 2005. As far as Rosanna was concerned, 2005 had been crap. She could not wait to see the back end of the year. Queen Elizabeth, the second, had had her annas horribilus. Rosanna Harlow, the first, was happy to drown 2005 in alcohol.
“Woo hoo!” Rosanna howled at the moon as she staggered around the backyard pool with a glass of champagne in one hand and a ridiculous shiny green party hat perched jauntily on her head. No one at the crowded party noticed her specifically. Everyone else was in varying shades of alcoholic happiness and having just as good a time at the party. It was the second one she and her best friend Prue had attended that night. They would go home soon and collapse. But for the moment Rosanna felt invincible, broken toe and all. She laughed out loud as Prue echoed her call.
Rosanna heard beeping and reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out her mobile phone. She squinted down at the display. “I have a message.” She announced out loud just because she could. Prue cheered drunkenly. Rosanna smiled as she accessed her message with uncoordinated fingers. “Archer? Who the hell is Archer?”
“William Tell was an archer.” Prue informed her in a drunken slur as she barely missed stumbling into the pool she was drunkenly trying to navigate her way around.
“William Tell left me a message?”
“Actually, I think he’s dead.”
Rosanna looked at Prue. “Why would a dead man send me a message?”
“Maybe he’s lonely.” Prue laughed out loud at her own inane comment.
“You’re drunk.”
“As a skunk.” Prue slumped down on a nearby deck chair.
Rosanna giggled and shook her head. She squinted down at the display again. “I’ll meet you 1st January 2006—caller Archer time 11:58pm date 31/12/2048” 31/12/2048? What? Someone was calling her from the year 2048? Ah huh. Either her mobile was on the fritz or she needed to stop drinking now. Preferring to think her mobile was the problem she slipped it back into her the pocket of her jeans and staggered over to follow Prue. The effects of the alcohol and the pain of her toe were finally starting to register. Okay, maybe there was something to be said for not mixing pain medication with alcohol. She slumped beside her friend on a neighboring chair.

Hmmm…what happens next?

Anny – and Kelly – are on the road traveling to loved ones at the moment. So keep checking their blogs as I am sure they will have some riveting insights about Christmas. As always the blogs to the left provide a great look at real people and the stuff that happens to them.

May your toilet paper always match your mood
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Dakota Rebel said...

"May your toilet paper always match your mood."

I like that. You should get T-Shirts made.

(By the way, your verification code is Shhxy. I like that too. It sounds like quietly sexy. Understated. Nice.)

Happy Christmas

Bronwyn's Blog said...

Themed toilet paper...who knew?

Brynn Paulin said...

"Want a Tim Tam??"


"Ghosts…demons… past mistakes, current mistakes…move on…don’t let ‘em scare you."

Excellent advice. Thanks. :-)

Anonymous said...

Themed toilet paper? Actually while we're on the subject of dunny paper. Is it just me or do others wonder WHY they insist on adding that vile scent to it? Like it's going to hide the smell. I mean. Really!

Sounds like a fab Christmas Amarinda, and very much like the one we'll be having. I'm cooking the roast chook on Xmas Eve and we'll pick at it Christmas day, cold with salads.

Oh, and you forgot the obligatory falling asleep in front of the telly with the cricket on ;) LOL

Have a great one!

Kelly Kirch said...

Lyn, they want to make sure that all scent sensitive people break out in butt hives. It adds to the "pain in the ass" experiences of some family encounters. You get to say stuff like, "Gee Uncle Pete, that just makes my ass itch."

Shhxy. I like this "word" too.