Friday, 14 December 2007

Friday stuff...

Do I have the Christmas contest clue? Maybe...maybe not...

Is it just me or are there some truly horrible clothes in the stores at the moment? They all look like they have been made from recycled curtain material. They are bloody awful. Are we supposed to look like demented refugees from the 1970’s? Big blotchy flowers and weird contrasting geometrical designs seem to be big this summer Down Under. The fashionistas are either drunk or drugged. How is wearing curtains fashionable or even attractive? I don’t follow trends. I am unique. I wear what suits me and what I am comfortable in. I do not bow to fashion and could not give a rat’s arse if I was ‘in’ or not. I refuse to wear curtain material. Yeah sure, Scarlett O’Hara hoiked down her mum’s green velvet drapes to make a dress to wear when she needed to bat her eyes at Rhett Butler but that was completely different. She was on a mission. In my opinion, the 1970’s curtain fabric fashion at the moment is pukeable.

Christmas shoppers – are they feral or what? I heard one women with a pram tell her probably 5 year old son – “I’m going to ram the next person who gets in my way” – charming…. What will that kid grow up learning?

I moved the lawn this arvo. Yes, how exciting. It’s not, but it’s mindless and you have a lot of time to think. Every time I mow the lawn I think of best friend Katie’s husband. He keeps data on which way he mowed the lawn last time. Yes, apparently you have to mow in a different direction each time in order for the grass to look nice. Boring. Who has time to remember which direction you hauled a lawn mower over grass? Do you? I am just happy if I manage not to get mower fluid on my foot. I have no doubt directional mowing is a perfectly valid and logic theory but so is attaching a rope to your ankles and bungee jumping – I ain’t doing that either.

I have been offered quite a few jobs in the past week. No, I have taken none. Why? I would like to, for once, possibly take a job I would stay at for longer than a couple of months. I have this theory that I deserve more. I will find it. Today a job agency person rang me. I have had a frenzy of job slutting. What is this? It’s when you apply on-line for any job that looks vaguely okay. You get to a point where all jobs look the same and you cannot remember what the hell you applied for – hence job slutting. Anyway a woman from a job agency called me. We chatted for a while, I spun my usual line of how fantastic an employee I am – ydah, ydah, ydah. She said you don’t remember do you? Oh crap! What elaborate piece of embroidery (lie) had I told that she may be able call me on? Don’t you hate then when it happens? Okay, you’re probably too good and honest to do that so scratch that question. Anyway, she turned out to be someone I worked with a year or so a go. The minute she saw my name in the database she had to call me about a job. Do I remember her? Nope. That’s always awkward especially as she remembers everything about me. So, I’ll go chat on Monday about jobs. My biggest problem is I have no idea what she looks like so unless she has a name tag on, I’m going to shake every hand in that office until I find her. I may be forgetful, but I will be polite.

On Kelly left us with…

Two could play that game. She'd read the same manual. Hadn't everyone? "I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!" she quoted back.

The little man har har'd at her comeback. "Arrrr, matey. I'll plum you with my missenmast."

"After you show me the treasure, little man."

Yes….cracking skulls between thighs…uh huh…I’m going with…

“Hey Emmeline, you old bag!” Maud Crabapple yelled across the room of the Gutted Frog Inn. "How the bloody hell are you?”

Emmeline looked over and grinned at her old friend. “I’m doing well, you trashy tart.” Maud had bleached blonde hair, ruby lips and a body Marilyn Monroe would have killed for. “Excuse me little man. There are grown ups I have to talk to.” She walked over to where Maud stood with a jug of beer in one hand and a bag of Cheetos in the other. “Still quite the sophisticate I see.”

“Jealousy is a terrible thing oh Mistress of–” ­ ­

Ssshh!” Emmeline looked around her quickly. “No one knows my real identity.”

“You’re kidding me?” Maud shook her head in wonder. “So you’re still using the warrior woman thing? And people believe that?”

“I’m dealing mostly with men.”

Maud snorted. “Oh well, say no more then. So, what are you doing here?” She popped a Cheeto in her mouth.

“’Seems you have access to a key that a lot of people want.” Emmeline knew pure rat cunning would be needed to get that key from Maud.

“I suppose you want it as well?” She chewed her cheesy snack thoughtfully.

“You know me Maudie, I’m always up for treasure.”

Maud pinged a Cheeto at a man who was leering at her. “I’ll tell you what, you announce to the bar your true identity and if you can get out of here alive then I’ll give you the key.” Maud smirked at her mischievously.

Oh crap. Emmeline knew true identity would kill her.

Who is Emmeline exactly? Warrior princess or fraud? Find on tomorrow on

12 Days of Romance contest – no Virginia, I don’t have the clue but someone does

Do you want to win some fantastic holiday reading? Of course you do. If so come celebrate the Twelve days of Romance with 12 authors from Ellora's Cave, Wild Rose Press, Total-E-Bound and Cerridwen Press. Each day beginning December 8th and running through December 19th one of the twelve authors will tell what their "True love gave to them" on either their blog or website.Collect all twelve answers and e-mail them to with 12 days of Romance in the subject line to win some great books.

There will be three lucky winners. The prizes –1st prize--6 books, 2nd prize--4 books, 3rd prize--2 books. All books and prize winners will be drawn randomly
Anny Cook Winter Hearts
Sandra Cox Boji Stones
Bronwyn Green Ronan's Grail
Heather Hiestand Cards Never Lie
Barbara Huffert Deal of a Lifetime
Amarinda Jones Mad About Mirabelle
Kelly Kirch Time for Love
Cindy Spencer Pape Cowboy's Christmas Bride
Brynn Paulin Fallen
JacquƩline Roth Access Denied
KZ Snow Mrs. Claws
Lacey Thorn Earth Moves

All answers must be received no later than the stroke of midnight 21st December (Northern hemisphere time) or worlds collide and you don’t want to be responsible for that now do you?
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


LynTaylor said...

LOL!! Thanks for the giggle Amarinda. God I hate it when people chat away with you and seem to know all your intimate details and you have ABSOLUTELY no idea who they are!

Amarinda Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amarinda Jones said...

Bloody Hell!You were quick! I barely finished correcting my typos!

Anonymous said...

LOL! Looks like someone didn't want to comment :D

Kelly Kirch said...

So lawnmowing and sex, eh? I think mowing a lawn can take an hour, right? So that gives you more sustained aerobic activity than a night in the sack in a typical marriage. Maybe there's something to this gardening thing.

Anny Cook said...

An hour, huh? Geez, I don't know. It could take that long to undress. Us old geezers don't rush into things, you know.

Good blog, AJ!

Bronwyn's Blog said...

Be sure to let us know how Monday's interview works out - I'm beyond curious. Wait...or is that nosy? ;)

Sandra Cox said...

Happy Friday, Amarinda:)