Friday, 21 December 2007

Santa uncovered…

A – From my investigation Santa, you have elves on the verge of revolution, Mrs Claus is a shrewish ex-pole dancer and a playboy moose is pretending to be a reindeer. The North Pole does not seem to be the happy place that it’s portrayed to be by the media. What do you have to say about this?
S – No family is without problems
A- Are you just putting on a brave face to stop people panicking over what happening at the Pole?

S - Ho, ho, ho - of course not Amarinda. Have you been a good girl this year?
A. I've been bad to the bone and loved every second of it.
S - Dear me, how disappointing. You look like such a sweet lady.
A- Cut the crap Santa. People need to know the truth about what is going on at Santa’s workshop.
S – You’re right. I can’t take it anymore. I am on the verge of cracking up I tell you. Rudolph is bleeding me dry with his demands and the elves are revolting.

A – Sure, they’re annoying but I wouldn’t say they're revolting.
S – They plan to overthrow me.
A – Really? How do you know this?
S - I hear them whispering and when I pass by they quickly shut up and give me the death stare.
A – Hmmm…sounds like call centre staff. That could be dangerous. What do you plan to do?
S – Hide
A – Don’t you think it would be better to talk to them about their issues?
S- Why?
A- Because pissed off workers are unhappy workers
S – So if they were happy they would work faster?
A – Maybe…
S- I could make more money, get a new sleigh, go to the Gold Coast on holidays…
A – Hey, what exactly does Christmas mean to you? Is it a grab for profit or a time to celebrate life?
S – If I said profit that would be a bad thing?
A – (Eyeroll) Good luck with the revolution. You’re going to need it.

On Kelly left us with….

"You almost had me there Chi-Psin!! I should have known you'd try sentiment where brute force has failed."

"Drat! You foiled me again, Emmeline."

"Did you really think I'd believe Zoltan had come back to life? You fool! You did this to obtain the Obelisk of Ostentatious Obliteration! I should have known."

"Where is it? This maybe a mirage room, but I can make the images very real. Real enough to kill even you!"

Bloody hell…that girl tries the patience of a plaster saint. I’m going with….

“Emmeline, this was supposed to be an essay on what Christmas means to you!”

Emmeline opened her eyes wide at the sharp sounding voice. She looked around her. She was standing in front of her 7th grade class in old her school uniform, now restrictingly tight on her fully grown body. She had aged but her classmates hadn’t. Miss Snyder, her old teacher, was as cranky looking as ever. She looked down at the essay in hers hands. “How did I get here?”

“Don’t try any of your tricks on me, Emmeline. I’m a wake up to you.”

Emmeline now knew why Miss Synder was so horrible, she needed a damn good shagging. The warrior woman looked around the room slowly trying to calm herself down. There was a reason she had been dumped back in her past. Think. What does not fit in this room? Desk, chairs, bored kids, an obelisk, school bags, books…an obelisk? She looked at Miss Snyder. “Nice try The Mary. I knew all along you were behind this.”

The Mary laughed and transformed back into her normal persona. “You’re such a smart arse.”

“I know.” Emmeline watched as her old classmates disappeared. “So what’s this all about?”

“I think you know.”

“He will never love you.” There was only one woman he loved and that could never be.

“He will if I have the obelisk.”

A sudden green flash lit up the room and he appeared. “Neither of you shall have the obelisk.”

Emmeline gasped in shock. “What the bloody hell are you doing here?”

Hmm…who is he? Only Anny knows. Check out for this year’s last thrilling episode of the blog serial. Due to popular demand its back again in January 2008.

If you are about to go on the road this holiday season, take it steady and remember it’s better to get there thirty minutes late than not at all. And, as we say in Australia, if you drink and drive you’re a bloody idiot. Be safe and be careful and come back again to the Amarinda blog.

Til' the witching hour....

Remember you have until midnight on the 21st December to get your answers in for the 12 Days of Romance comp. We have had a huge response so far. Thanks to everyone who entered. But if you plan to enter or you think what the hell is Amarinda talking about then check out below.

Do you want to win some fantastic holiday reading? If so come celebrate the Twelve days of Romance with 12 authors from Ellora's Cave, Wild Rose Press, Total-E-Bound and Cerridwen Press. Each day beginning December 8th and running through December 19th one of the twelve authors will tell what their "True love gave to them" on either their blog or website.

Collect all twelve answers and e-mail them to with 12 days of Romance in the subject line to win some great books. There will be three lucky winners. The prizes –1st prize--6 book, 2nd prize--4 books, 3rd prize--2 books. Entries must be in by December 21st at midnight EST. All books and prize winners will be drawn randomly.

Anny Cook Winter Hearts
Sandra Cox Boji Stones
Bronwyn Green Ronan's Grail
Heather Hiestand Cards Never Lie
Barbara Huffert Deal of a Lifetime
Amarinda Jones Mad About Mirabelle
Kelly Kirch Time for Love
Cindy Spencer Pape Cowboy's Christmas Bride
Brynn Paulin Fallen
Jacquéline Roth Access Denied
KZ Snow Mrs. Claws
Lacey Thorn Earth Moves

I will tell you my clue is Twelve Tantalizing Tim Tams.” Okay – now go and click on the names above and seek out the rest of the true love clues. Good luck!
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Anny Cook said...

Heh-heh. Viva la revolution! Good interview! Talk to y'all later!

Sandra Cox said...

These interviews have been hilarious.You should publish them.

Anonymous said...

I second that Sandra! My family thinks I've finally cracked with all the giggling over here in my little corner LOL!

Have a great one Amarinda. The kids and I are heading to Sydney early in the new year, so send a prayer our way. 6 hours on the Pacific Hwy is really pushing the envelope. I always get quite anxious at the thought of driving on it *grimaces*

Brynn Paulin said...

Ah, Santa...not the giver I once imagined him to be. I am so disillusioned.